ALMOST...BUT NOT QUITE

So the 6th ANNUAL CAFE DOOM SHORT STORY COMP has now officially ended, and the winners have been posted HERE.

I came 6th out of the top 8, as picked by the Shock Totem team *insert sad face here* but I did come top of the public votes, so I guess that counts for something *insert happy face here*, and at least now I know ST aren't keen on stories in which a dead husband comes back to life in the body of a scarecrow *insert relevant face here*

I think now I just need to find a relevant site or zine that agrees with the public, and not other editors. SHAZAM!

:D

edit: I think that might sound a bit snooty, which is very unbecoming for me, whoops. So here's a more typical Potato blog version -->

After utterly destroying the other saps in the public vote section of the 6TH ANNUAL CAFE DOOM SHORT STORY COMPETITION with my unbridled awesomeness, I choose to dial my godlike powers down a few notches so that some other very deserving writers could have a bash at the exultation I suffer every day of my incredible life.

Subsequently, I placed 6th overall, which is still better than nothing, and was a top pick of Ed, who runs CD. And because I'm a crawly-crawly bum-lick, I'll also mention that Ken from Shock Totem (the sponsors) put me in his top three picks...so my powers, even when muted, still have almost as much potency as Ron Jeremy's used underpants.

You can see the results HERE, and hopefully read my story [Papa Crow] somewhere in the near future :)

Yep, that's more like it! I really like jingold's (the winner's) 'fairytale' style of writing and I myself voted her story [Fade to Black] second in my own top three picks. So, as you can see, I have impeccable taste ;)

I got some lovely comments about my piece, and as Ken's mentioned below in the comments, the ending was a bit off (which was almost everyone's main criticism). I thought by subverting the expectation of what should happen to Papa Crow by having him set himself on fire instead would work, but it didn't, so no worries (I won't say what I did originally intend to end the story like in case it ends up somewhere, then you lot won't want to read it :D ).

And that really is HOW for NOW! Stay tuned for an update tomorrow on a BRAND NEW ANTHOLOGY I'm opening up to submissions - it's gonna be MONSTROUS!!!! Oooo how eggsciting!

DONE. LIKE A NAUGHTY SCHOOLBOY

Well I've done it; I've finished selecting the stories for A GLITCH IN THE CONTINUUM. It sounds a little trite, like Dermot on the X factor telling the latest hopeless vocalist that they 'gave it their best shot' (but secretly he thinks they're shit), but the final decision was a tough call. I rejected some absolutely solid stories because there were ones I preferred that little bit more. But ahh, such is life in this biz we call show.

What's NEXT? Only another anthology! I'll post details on WEDNESDAY. Oooo very exciting!

And for me? Not much. Got a couple of cool bands on the go, and I'm working on something that was supposed to be a short story but is turning into a massive headfkkk of an idea instead. That's about for it now, I reckon. I think I'm off to bed to watch 2012! Yippee!

NOT MY CUP OF TEA

I'm waist-deep in submissions for A GLITCH IN THE CONTINUUM and I'm quite enjoying it. 'Quite' because I don't like sending out rejections. But, it's a necessary evil. Plus, you can't make an omelette without breaking some heads.

I don't get too bothered by rejections myself nowadays, but I do get a bit cheesed by form rejections. Urgh they're the worst! And they plant the seed of doubt that your story wasn't read all the way through. I understand most places do it because it's one heck of a time-saving device but it's still annoying. I'm trying to offer constructive feedback where possible for Glitch, or at least say what I think does work about a particular story, so writers know I have actually read their story :D and I've read all of them so far, even if I skimmed some a bit (because they didn't grab me) but I say so, if that's the case, and why.

Listen to me; I'm a right hero! I even got paid in cake by a co-worker today because I moved a bunch of tables. If that sort of thing can spill over to my editing duties it'd be pretty nifty ;) but seriously...I've already had some very polite responses from rejected authors, but I don't expect it so it's a nice bonus. I'm still waiting for that one unprofessional writer to send me a vehement email though haha oh dear.

Anyways, I've got quite a few more stories left to read - I plan to send my next batch of rejections out tomorrow, if I have time, otherwise I'll have to do it on Saturday or Sunday night. Keep holding your breath, submitted authors! I'll get back to you as soon as I can!

VRRROOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!

SO, WAYNE GOODCHILD, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO THESE DAYS?

Thanks for asking, Blog Headline - I'll tell you!

Mainly, I've been reading through submissions for A Glitch in the Continuum (I intend to start sending responses out tomorrow) and also discovering excellent new music.

New music?

Yes, italicized words, new music. I'm a big fan of all sorts of things, from dark, midnight jazz to horrible, monstrous dirge and my top picks for cool bands would have to go to the following:

ADMIRAL ANGRY - truly monstrous. Very, very heavy and hateful. Utterly brilliant!

THE PYSKE PROJECT - metallic doom. Solid sludge with excellent dynamics and off-kilter rhythms.

37500 YENS - jazzy mathrock. Wonky rhythms mixed with a lovely sound. And they're French!

OLD MAN GLOOM - ambient/doom. Part weird soundscapes, part unrelenting hard rock doom. 'Christmas' is an excellent album, with the song 'Volcano' being worth the price of admission alone.

THE KILIMANJARO DARKJAZZ ENSEMBLE - experimental jazz. I can't even tell you how amazing this band is. They mix late-night vibes with electronics and are just incredible.

Interesting. But have you done any writing?

Yes I have. I'm currently working on a superhero story and one set in a place that exists outside time and space but not outside time and space, and is a mash-up of various genres...and could feasibly lend itself to serialization!

Interesting. Say, didn't you enter a writing competition or something?

Yeah I did. The 6th Annual Cafe Doom one, to be exact. I may or may not be doing well in it - I can't wait until everyone finds out which story was mine! And vice versa!

Interesting. Which story is yours?

The one with- hey you cheeky monkey, you tried to trick me!

Yeah I did.

Sneaky bugger.

When do you find out how many chumps liked your story, and how many thought it was utter balls?

Tomorrow, I think. Anyone interested can visit Cafe Doom to see for themselves!

Interesting. I'm bored of you now.

That's very rude you-

I'm stopping this blog entry right now because I'm sick of the sight of your disgusting words. Oh my god you make me wanna puke you fucking scumbag!

No need for that!

There's every need you slimy cock face! You have a face like a cock!

I-

ENDING BLOG ENTRY. BYE, DICK'EAD!

YES, I DO ART!

Last year I went to see the BANKSY exhibit/takeover at Bristol Museum, and it was largely really good. Had to wait in the queue for ages, but to keep everyone occupied some arty types handed out pens and cards and invited folks to draw whatever on them whilst they waited.

The results are now in a BOOK! I'm probably in it, since I handed my card in. Or maybe not, I don't know - but I assume I am since I received an email about it, and the only way I could have done that is if the people behind it had my card. So I probably am in it. That's good, isn't it? Yes. Yes, it is good.

You can find out more/order the book HERE. Go on, then!