tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4876236190056151002024-02-07T04:58:40.915+00:00THIS SENTENCE IS HAUNTEDAnd so is this blog.Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.comBlogger390125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-22071453521507292532020-08-06T00:59:00.005+01:002020-08-06T01:25:41.437+01:00KI⸸⸸ENS / KITTENSAnd I'm back! I know it's been a while, but it's been a very busy first half of 2020. One thing I've been busy with is THIS --><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFseS__7hvcz6Bs5_hfNmYSQwj1WLpTRW9FOhtQS7tl4QLCAc3w5sYzZ4ksOWnt9QOGKT3BVmTnrQYBAJAW16BHm6-2lXs0SRWC5aitUKdTFNhbqYrGFF0rTkusDX3q2HZ8MA91LbQtCo/s1417/KITTENS+cover.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1417" data-original-width="1417" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFseS__7hvcz6Bs5_hfNmYSQwj1WLpTRW9FOhtQS7tl4QLCAc3w5sYzZ4ksOWnt9QOGKT3BVmTnrQYBAJAW16BHm6-2lXs0SRWC5aitUKdTFNhbqYrGFF0rTkusDX3q2HZ8MA91LbQtCo/w512-h512/KITTENS+cover.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b><font size="5"><a href="https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/album/kittens">https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/album/kittens</a> </font></b></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; white-space: pre-wrap;"><font color="#ffffff">We're an international noise rock collaboration! Our members live in the US, Italy, Colombia and the UK, and we’ve known each other for years. Our various lockdowns gave us the perfect excuse to join forces and record a bunch of noisy songs about monsters, bastards, existential crises, reanimated corpses, and true love.</font></span></div><font color="#ffffff" style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;" /></font><p dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: black; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><font color="#ffffff">Song parts were jammed via video calls and recorded individually, then sent to each other. Regular online chats meant we were all on the same page as far as songwriting went, with the final tracks being produced by Romero (vocals/programming) in Colombia.</font></span></p><font color="#ffffff" style="background-color: black;"><br style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;" /></font><p dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><font color="#ffffff" style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our combined influences are, fittingly, all over the place, but overall these bands are touchstones: Unsane, Godflesh, Distorted Pony, Mortician. We’re also aware there used to be a noise rock band called Kittens, but we’re not them. We do, however, heartily recommend their Tiger Comet album.
The album/ep/whatever you want to call it is available via our Bandcamp page above, but you can also stream it on Spotify, Apple Music, Deezer, and a bunch of other places, by clicking here: </span><a href="https://ditto.fm/kittens-kittens">https://ditto.fm/kittens-kittens</a> (or just go straight to Spotify if you like <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/1VlTmgfdwPGtq5sMwk0wGb">https://open.spotify.com/album/1VlTmgfdwPGtq5sMwk0wGb</a>).</font></p><p dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><font color="#ffffff" style="background-color: black;"><br /></font></p><p dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><font color="#ffffff" style="background-color: black;">And for anyone who reads this and is either interested in getting a copy, or knows someone who might like it, help yourself to a free download code! First come, first served, so if one doesn't work, try another.<br /></font></p><table border="0" cellspacing="0" cols="1" frame="VOID" rules="NONE">
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<td height="18" style="text-align: center;" width="414"><a href="https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=ra8q-vdre"><b><font color="#ff00fe">https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=ra8q-vdre</font></b></a></td>
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<td height="18" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=hlf7-7mhv"><b><font color="#ff00fe">https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=hlf7-7mhv</font></b></a></td>
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<td height="18" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=hcax-56a8"><b><font color="#ff00fe">https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=hcax-56a8</font></b></a></td>
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<td height="18" style="text-align: center;"><b><font color="#ff00fe"><a href="https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=qh7p-7gu2">https://kittensnoise.bandcamp.com/yum?code=qh7p-7gu2</a> </font></b></td>
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</table><p dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><font color="#ffffff" style="background-color: black;"><br /></font></p><p dir="ltr" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><font color="#ffffff" style="background-color: black;"><br /></font></p>Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-15693119878486512072020-01-17T14:09:00.000+00:002020-01-17T14:09:35.051+00:00Feliz Año! If I don't include the tilde above the 'n' this post heading would mean 'Happy Anus'.We're now 17 days into 2020! As noted back in September, I had a bunch of irons in the fire...so what's going on right now? As often happens, I end up doing a bunch of creative stuff so that one or more things fall by the wayside (due to time, mainly). However, I've been full steam ahead with <span style="color: red;">Cardboard Dead Boy</span> the last few months. <div>
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<b><span style="color: magenta;">MUSIC</span></b></div>
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My music isn't on Spotify etc any more because of the cost, but once I've got enough new material I'll be flooding the internet with CDB again YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT.</div>
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I've mostly been REMIXING. This gives me a) a chance to practice writing jazz beatz and b) brings my music to a new audience. If you'd like to be part of that audience, point your eyes and ears <a href="https://metapop.com/cardboarddeadboy" target="_blank">HERE</a>.</div>
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<b><span style="color: lime;">WRITING</span></b></div>
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The main reason I started this blog way back in, I think, 2009(!) was to showcase any and all stories I had published. I haven't had a lot of time in the last few years, for various reasons, to focus on writing, but that doesn't change the fact I've had almost thirty stories published - many in anthologies. Click the Amazon Author link over there --> and you'll find a bunch still available! </div>
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My current plan, and one I've been very steadily working on, is to rewrite/clean up a bunch of my previously published stories that are now out-of-contract, and stick them in a new collection. I don't have a deadline for this, but probably should so it lights a fire under my arse. So let's say...<b>February 29th 2020*</b>. If we're living in a leap year, might as well do something a little weird on that extra day.</div>
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One thing that slows me down in this regard is, ironically enough, a writing job I've picked up so as to bring a bit of money in whilst I'm a stay-at-home dad. It's articles, on a variety of subjects, and it is pretty interesting. Just yesterday I looked at the legalization of marijuana, and last week I researched NFL injuries. Two things I couldn't care less about, yet I still found something interesting about them both.</div>
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This job entails running articles through various services to check grammar, etc. One of those is <a href="http://www.hemingwayapp.com/" target="_blank">Hemingway</a>. I know these kinds of 'writing style' apps have gained more popularity in recent years, but I hate them. They grade your writing on an arbitrary scale that does not take into account your writer's voice, language and grammar differences (and believe me, after teaching English as a foreign language the last few years, there are plenty of differences to take into account).</div>
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<i>*the thing that slows me down the most is that I want to include a brand new novella, but it's not finished and may not be for a while. I'm writing it with very little planning, to see what comes out. So far, some really weird stuff and I think it's shaping up nicely. I'm also looking at self-publishing a novel, but I kind of don't want to do this until I can get a solid marketing plan into action.</i></div>
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The other thing to take into account when submitting stories is that it takes a while. Ideally, you should give yourself a full day to research and hit up a bunch of suitable markets. It becomes a full-time job in itself. I'm also aware that, when I started getting things published, I was caught in a perfect storm. I joined a couple of really supportive networks (<a href="http://www.cafedoom.com/" target="_blank">Cafe Doom</a> and the <a href="https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/libraryofthelivingdead/" target="_blank">Library of the Living Dead</a>) and benefited from that immensely. Both those networks technically still exist, but time has done what it must to all things and weathered them away to a shadow of their former selves.</div>
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Anyway, before I start getting maudlin, let's have a look at:</div>
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<b><span style="color: cyan;">GAMES</span></b></div>
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I haven't worked on any video games since September last year. To be honest, I think I needed to give myself a bit of break from this because I was pouring a ton of time and effort into it that I really should have used on music/writing. </div>
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Again, the aim is still to have an actual game finished and (hopefully) available in various online stores, but I'm going to really take my time with this one. My writing should and will take precedence. </div>
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<b>And that's your lot!</b></div>
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Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-78352535074814213782019-09-03T22:30:00.001+01:002019-09-03T22:30:15.427+01:00A WHOLE YEAR!?!?!?!Honestly, I'm as surprised as you are.<br />
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I originally started this blog so I had a regular place to talk about all my creative endeavours, especially writing. Over the years, I also talked about music, travel, films...all kinds of things. Since moving to Colombia at the start of 2017 to, quite literally, start a new life, my writing had to take a backseat to my day job (teaching English). I still did it, but not as much (it 'helped', that before Colombia, I was largely unemployed for two years, so time to write was a luxury I had).<br />
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Then, last March, I started a different teaching job with substantially more hours. My writing basically dried up, not because I didn't feel creative, but because my creativity was being channeled into making videogames and music - and also trying to find time for writing would have been too much to take on. So writing faded into the background.<br />
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BUT NOW! My oh my. I recently had a baby. I mean, I didn't literally pop him out - you can thank my partner for that - but I helped make him. I'm looking at becoming a stay-at-home dad, at least for a bit. This means, for the first time in nearly three years (and somewhat ironically, given that newborn babies are a handful and supposed to take up a lot of your time), I'll have time to spend writing.<br />
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I'll still be working on <b>videogames</b> and <b>music</b>, but I'm learning to manage my time with these activities, too. For instance, for the last year or so, I've been hammering away at 'game jams', which are themed competitions (usually just for fun) that are designed to encourage creativity in a short space of time. I really enjoy doing these, but it would be nuts of me to try to keep doing them, so instead I'm going to focus on completing one or two games in order to release them properly (ie. retail, on sites such as Itch and Steam). You can eyeball everything I've done so far <a href="https://atomic-toilet.itch.io/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: magenta;">HERE!</span></b></a> [Cube Road is the main game I'm working on right now].<br />
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Music-wise, writing this for games has itself been a fun challenge. I've steadily been working on new Cardboard Dead Boy stuff, which I'd like to release by November but we'll see how that goes. For now, you can stick your eyeballs <b><span style="color: magenta;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/thismusicishaunted" target="_blank">HERE</a> </span></b>for new stuff (which there will be sooooooooooooooon).<br />
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<b>And now back to the writing</b>. I'm in the process of compiling details of all my publications to date, as well as reviews (of which I've had a very nice amount of positive ones). Before Colombia, I also edited/formatted novels/anthologies, so I'd like to get back into that, too. I'll update this blog soon with details related to this. Fiction-wise, I'm looking at dipping my toes into the murky waters of self-publishing. I mean, I've been self-publishing my music for years, so why not my writing? All my previously published stuff is now out of contract and/or (sadly) some of the publishers no longer exist, so the plan is to take a bunch of these, tweak them (since I now have a much stronger grasp of grammar, thanks to the day job) and include them with new stories. The theme(s) will be smalltown horror/interdimensional apocalypses/collapsing realities. More news on this SOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!<br />
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And that's ya lot FOR NOW. If you're a writer and/or interested in hiring me for editing, please email wayne(dot)goodchild(at)virgin(dot)net. Cheers!<br />
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<iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/366306860&color=%23ed0f46&auto_play=true&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe>Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-14786730282137621972018-09-25T19:51:00.001+01:002018-09-25T19:51:36.675+01:00RED EYE: A JOURNEY THROUGH HELLEagle-eyed readers will remember I occasionally mention working on video games. In truth, I don't have a lot of time to do this at the moment, but I still try and enter game jams (prompts/challenges) so as to give myself a kick up the bum to actually finish something. The latest one I entered was <a href="https://itch.io/jam/a-game-by-its-cover-2018" target="_blank">A GAME BY IT'S COVER</a>, which tasks you to pick a fake Famicom game cartridge and create an actual game for it.<br />
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I choose <b>RED EYE: A JOURNEY THROUGH HELL</b> by Brent Ashe [<a href="https://www.instagram.com/brent.ashe/?hl=en" target="_blank">Instagram</a> / <a href="https://twitter.com/brent_ashe?lang=en" target="_blank">Twitter</a>].<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzefPy9jWsFGz2NP2Gjaj7X79zl8qyAYfngHDFUMfwW1byt00Y5Bq5Y7kvjeEEPLK22fDbdhIcMSICQZqYUfPR_FZ0DV9hgU3LsxNgmN5ObK3-RZe5M88RD_GFcgADORx49R-MRNuq8ug/s1600/RED+EYE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="405" data-original-width="615" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzefPy9jWsFGz2NP2Gjaj7X79zl8qyAYfngHDFUMfwW1byt00Y5Bq5Y7kvjeEEPLK22fDbdhIcMSICQZqYUfPR_FZ0DV9hgU3LsxNgmN5ObK3-RZe5M88RD_GFcgADORx49R-MRNuq8ug/s320/RED+EYE.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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His description is pretty succinct and felt really easy to do, so I did it! --> </div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: inherit;">An endless journey through Hell. You pilot an airliner between fiery rock formations as demons hurl pitchforks of damnation. Pick up and drop off your accursed passengers as you ferry them to their final destination. We love to die, and it shows.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNa-FL3YT0aHB6CCkBidnEPQVa_4kj5tbn_ipmHIbUW-m3A9wl70uHvNH71-1yokNfQQMtf8oNgHAu6dkkjhVBHQnmOAvZYRa6lSKhMcf-IaozwrJ9TJENlpeCarTAnbagvB2zsXkl54Q/s1600/RED-EYE-avi.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="720" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNa-FL3YT0aHB6CCkBidnEPQVa_4kj5tbn_ipmHIbUW-m3A9wl70uHvNH71-1yokNfQQMtf8oNgHAu6dkkjhVBHQnmOAvZYRa6lSKhMcf-IaozwrJ9TJENlpeCarTAnbagvB2zsXkl54Q/s320/RED-EYE-avi.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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You can give it a whiz via<a href="https://atomic-toilet.itch.io/red-eye" target="_blank"> https://atomic-toilet.itch.io/red-eye</a> either in your browser or by downloading to your computer. It's pretty difficult, but it is possible to "win", hopefully in a way that doesn't betray the whole 'endless journey' aspect. Hint: there are 30 Passengers, but you can't/don't need to save them all.Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-83643798805016396322018-06-12T01:47:00.000+01:002018-06-12T01:47:15.711+01:00I AM NOT DEADHello! I know it's been a while; please excuse me. I started a new job teaching English here in Colombia and the schedule's a bit bananas, plus I moved house and we all know how messy that can get.<br />
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Anyway! I haven't really had time to do much creative stuff for a while now, but that doesn't mean I don't have some irons in the fire. Those who regularly point their eyeballs at this blog will know I submitted my most recent novel, A WRETCHED PLACE, to a publisher last year. Well, this weekend they requested the full manuscript! Nothing like seeing an email from a publisher, thinking "Oh well, here's another rejecOH WHAT?!" Fingers crossed they like it enough to move forward with it...!!!<br />
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That's it for now, but I intend to pop back on here later this week with news about some other re-ignited projects. HOWZAT?!Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-72243035162662438252018-03-06T18:50:00.000+00:002018-03-06T18:50:43.755+00:00THE APOCALYPSE IS MUSICThis post is actually going to be about game design!<br />
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I started teaching myself how to code in 2016, but my various efforts dropped off when I moved to Colombia (since I was busy having an actual social life for the first time in two years!). However, I did enjoy it, so last month I determined to try and make the most of my current free time by getting back into it. I've signed up for a game jam (which are regular competitions/prompts to make a game) with the theme GHOSTS and am making decent headway with my entry for that. You can eyeball a short video of the "cursed Atari 2600 game" I'm working on here: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bf3_TZZD-KW/?taken-by=massive_toilet">INSTARGHGRAMZ</a><br />
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But something that is closely tied to making games is the same thing that's closely tied to writing, for me: listening to music. Ever since I read that James O'Barr used to listen to music to get him in the mood when creating THE CROW (particularly Joy Division, early Pitchshifter [aka Pitch Shifter] and a bunch of other bands I also like) I decided that I would do the same - this was wwaaaaayyyyy back in the mid-to-late nineties, but it's a practice I've kept up ever since. And quite often the music does influence or otherwise inspire whatever I write (I have quite a few published stories out there containing music-related easter eggs).<br />
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For some time now, I've been listening to less and less metal and metal-adjacent music (unless it's heavy/mental, like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFmMswcPPzs">Converge</a>) and more and more electronica - especially really dark, heavy Berlin-influenced stuff. At the moment, I'm utterly in love with this particular song:<br />
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<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1612764591/size=large/bgcol=333333/linkcol=e32c14/tracklist=false/track=2304078764/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 470px; width: 350px;"><a href="http://researchlabel.bandcamp.com/album/spheres">SPHERES by These Hidden Hands</a></iframe><br />
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Mainly because it, for me, perfectly captures the feeling of impending doom, closely followed by some form of actual apocalyptic terror as the beat fully kicks in. Suffice to say, I've been listening to it a lot lately, and I think it's helping shape my current game idea (you're a park ranger trapped in continuously-shifting woods as dark forces hunt you, with strong themes of inescapable fate and futility).<br />
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Music is, for me, one of the most powerful and immediate expressions of art a person can make, so I fully appreciate anyone that can distill any form of strong emotion and/or theme into five minutes, whether those minutes are clanking industrial beatz or some catchy pop song. And I mean real emotion, too, not the dimestore schmaltz of many acoustic singer/songwriters. Love is easy to write about (badly, I mean) - give me stories about how we're all doomed no matter what we do. Sure, this is bleak but I find that sort of thing far more interesting.<br />
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And on that note (music pun!) and to end, here's another recent song I can't get enough of:<br />
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<iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/383870564&color=%23ff0000&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe>Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-51490643479937648172018-01-19T22:04:00.002+00:002018-01-19T22:11:20.845+00:00¡FELZ ANO NUEVO! / SELF-PUBLISHING AS VALIDATIONHelloooooooooooooooo. We're nearly three weeks into 2018 and things are already heating up!<br />
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Well, not really, but I wanted to start with something dramatic. Things are continuing pretty much as they've always done, which is either thanks to determinism, eternal recurrence or laziness, who knows.<br />
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Actually, I've not been <i>too</i> lazy - I spent December in Puerto Rico, then came back to Colombia, so I've been out and about seeing and doing cool stuff. I'll actually have another <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYQl8SlwFGM&list=PLZiXDFOqPyBz6Lf-UUH8UST8GJG2axz-8">AWOUND THE WORLD WITH WAYNE</a> done about Puerto Rico probably next week, so you can all eyeball the things I eyeballed, from the comfort of your bedroom/study/secret lab/wherever you read this.<br />
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I'm currently waiting to hear about more teaching work (the more observant of you will recall I've been working as an English teacher here in Colombia the last year) so to fill my time, I've been working on a few creative endeavours. Mainly music, but I'm also going to try and make a concerted effort with my writing again, if I can. But first, the <b>MUSIC!</b> --><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQAg7s7R5UCwumfXauO3XPrGrDuix2cSWcM3rlH2cqW-5bNK9dWwjawkX-_B4jmYWW8lU-pjap2ZiBSTjnGVj2O6R3goy1XdsaP3-6maFggEdvm0-GmY89fbvQntrovkrbvxQW3JnKhUg/s1600/05.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQAg7s7R5UCwumfXauO3XPrGrDuix2cSWcM3rlH2cqW-5bNK9dWwjawkX-_B4jmYWW8lU-pjap2ZiBSTjnGVj2O6R3goy1XdsaP3-6maFggEdvm0-GmY89fbvQntrovkrbvxQW3JnKhUg/s320/05.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alternate Version cover art by Grebo Gray</td></tr>
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I wrote and released an album of industrial/electronica under the name <b><span style="color: red;">CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN</span></b> at the end of 2017 (you can buy/listen to it <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/versus-satan/1308545876?app=itunes&ign-mpt=uo%3D4">HERE</a> and <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/2OoonaANBQdbTuBQoSaLcg">HERE</a> and through a ton of other sites). The overall theme is the Satanic Panic of the 1980s, so the song titles and voice samples largely reflect that. So far, it's had one really decent review on <a href="http://www.brutalresonance.com/review/cardboard-dead-boy-versus-satan/">Brutal Resonance</a>, with (I hope) more reviews to come. I mean, I've bombarded nearly twenty relevant sites with a review request/promo copy, so you'd think at least one more of those would oblige. We'll see, I guess.<br />
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Since I'm using a service called <a href="https://distrokid.com/">Distrokid</a> to get my music all over the Internet, I figured it'd be daft not to take advantage of this, so I've also recently released the<span style="color: red;"> <b>Alternate Version of VERSUS SATAN</b></span>. It has different cover art, and the first, middle and end tracks are also exclusive to this release (though you can purchase them separately if you want to go a little nuts and compile your own version of the album. What a time to be alive!). This can be heard <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/versus-satan-alternate-version/1331260821">HERE</a> and <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/3Tgar3Ir7eRc2DJSuZEPrg">HERE</a> and, again, basically everywhere on the internet by this point.<br />
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And lastly, I uploaded my 2014 album to the same places. It's called <span style="color: blue;"><b>THE CARDBOARD DEAD BOY ELECTRIC RESURRECTION INSTRUCTION MANUAL</b></span>, and athough I don't think it's as focused as my new stuff, has its merits. This is also on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon, etc etc etc.<br />
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I'm currently working on a more jazz beats-flavoured bunch of CDB songs, for a four track EP that'll see the light of day <i>at some point this year</i>. I also like the idea of doing the CDB version of pop music and calling the release PLAYS ALL THE HITS, but we'll see if this idea pans out.<br />
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Alongside all this, I'm also trying my hand at more straighforward techno, under the name <b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utvjPbb7OfU&list=PLZiXDFOqPyBx9GZFPq1QOLkEMyllJbiez">THE UNIVERSE IS DYING</a></b>. It shares a fair bit of DNA with CDB but minus the jazz, glitches and noise. I'm keeping it dark though, with this quote forming the 'mission statement', if you will:<br />
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: white;">"...we have learned our own insignificance, and that amongst the infinite number of stars, each supporting their own system of inhabited planets, our earth occupies an infinitesimally small portion, and the destruction of it would make no difference whatever..." </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">- John F. Blake, Astronomical Myths, 1877.</span></span></div>
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I've been making videos for each song, too, as an additional little creative challenge. You can give these an eyeball by click the band name!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMHlrR4DIYORBEDQOKMkVaNRr6r0ltGZ7Ua8F4wOLY-LEIVlMEbzFQs3sPNbczwhetyqPQtpa-JrzxJ_WTyWGcex3gczK6pex3f2jsOwZppHdHmvM4ucZiXN7PO5qan2lp8H83Y0IJR9E/s1600/graveyard+note.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMHlrR4DIYORBEDQOKMkVaNRr6r0ltGZ7Ua8F4wOLY-LEIVlMEbzFQs3sPNbczwhetyqPQtpa-JrzxJ_WTyWGcex3gczK6pex3f2jsOwZppHdHmvM4ucZiXN7PO5qan2lp8H83Y0IJR9E/s320/graveyard+note.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And now, the <b>WRITING!</b> --><br />
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I haven't had anything new published since November 2014 :'( but I <i>did</i> use 2015-2016 to write and polish a novel called <b>A WRETCHED PLACE</b>. It's influenced by Jeff Vandermeer's Southern Reach Trilogy (which is EXCELLENT) and Sophocles' Theban plays. It has a slightly weird structure, that follows a woman, her husband (who narrates his sections), an (unwitting?) agent of chaos and a sinister preacher (the best kind!) as their paths cross along fractured timelines in a world now in the grip of monstrous gods. I've subbed it to a few publishers already, and some of them requested the full manuscript, but so far no luck landing an actual contract.<br />
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Today, however, I started tweaking my <i>first</i> novel (which also had a lot of publishers request a full manuscript and nearly found a home in a couple of places) <b>THIS VILLAGE NEVER DREAMS</b>. It is/was initially a cyclic/episodic novel in which a PI, Jack Green, starts to unravel an insane conspiracy to bring ancient gods back to Earth. I thought it wouldn't really work as a single, typical narrative since it covers ten months to a year in his life, as it slowly goes down the toilet thanks to encountering monsters/cults etc.<br />
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BUT, now I think I might be able to do it. I'm going to try and break it into MONTHS instead of typical chapters, and weave the various cases together so that, for instance, he starts one as another is ongoing (at the moment, events and people are referenced/completed between stories, but they're still "this happened and then this happened"). It's going to require a lot of work and narrative/structural wizardry, I reckon, but I think I need to get back into my old writing discipline of doing at least a few hours a day. Plus, at least I have the whole damn thing already written - I just need to reshape it, so I'm confident this is achievable.<br />
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The aim is to then (re)send this off to publishers, but a tiny part of me is considering self-publishing. A ton of my writer chums self-publish and seem to do alright from it, but the issue I have is a) finding an actual publisher still feels like legitimacy and b) you need to have a decent network/marketing plan in mind if you're going to handle all this yourself.<br />
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Now, I have no qualms about, effectively, self-publishing my music. Partly because this doesn't take me as long to write and partly because there are, as stated above, services and ways to get your music on the most platforms possible (and therefore decent pay from sales). I don't know if there are any such services for writers, other than manually uploading it to all the various self-publishing sites.<br />
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I've also been considering, as a kind of 'test-run', releasing a collection of short stories - all previously published, but now out of contract. I need to tweak them, and ideally want to include at least a couple of new stories, but one of those stories is wildly out of control and doesn't want to end. I pride myself on being the sort of person who doesn't say something unless he intends to do it, so I should probably put my money where my mouth is and actually get this done haha.<br />
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ANYWAY. This has been a bumper update, so that should tide you over for a while. Speaking of 'tide', can you believe we all live in a world where kids are eating laundry detergent? I probably put stuff I shouldn't have in my mouth <i>when I was a baby</i>, but I had the self-awareness <i>of a baby</i> then so it's expected. Kids these days, good grief.<br />
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Let me leave you with what it literally filling my ears as I type this right now:<br />
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<iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="300" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/315914537&color=%2317c1f5&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br />
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-8278529655300256002017-11-16T17:16:00.000+00:002017-11-16T17:16:14.154+00:00THE UNIVERSE IS DYINGHere's something else what I gone done made; a music video comprised entirely of found and archive footage, for a new project I'm working on. It's downtempo grinding electronica, if that sort of thing floats your boat:<br /><br />
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Uvv_eB3hRaU/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Uvv_eB3hRaU?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-86586496320788012312017-11-12T14:54:00.000+00:002017-11-12T14:54:01.692+00:00"VERY STRANGE"Oh look, it's more <b>CARDBOARD DEAD BOY</b>-related news!<br />
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<b>BRUTAL RESONANCE</b> has published the first review for <b><span style="color: red;">VERSUS SATAN</span></b> and it's a cracker! Some excerpts:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: "Open Sans"; font-size: 14px;">"Cardboard Dead Boy's </span><i style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #454545; font-family: "Open Sans"; font-size: 14px;">Versus Satan </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: "Open Sans"; font-size: 14px;">is just a very strange experience...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: "Open Sans"; font-size: 14px;">Dark ambience, crazy noisy bits, catchy basslines, blatant sample usage, it all exists within the confines of this album...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: "Open Sans"; font-size: 14px;">...</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: "Open Sans"; font-size: 14px;">add some good samples of people warning against the dangers of Satan and Satanism? Boy, you got a stellar album opener and it continues through all the way to the end.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #454545; font-family: "Open Sans"; font-size: 14px;">I'm pretty much in love with almost the entire album's titles."</span><br />
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It's a really favourable review and I'm particularly pleased with the reference to "catchy basslines" as this is the first CDB release where I've actively wrote <i>actual</i> bass lines - normally, I let the beat and accompanying pulse of electronics serve as the sole rhythm, so adding (sub)bass was something of an experiment for me.<br />
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You can read the whole review, and check out the rest of the Brutal Resonance site, <a href="http://www.brutalresonance.com/review/cardboard-dead-boy-versus-satan/">HERE</a>.<br />
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And, should you feel inclined to line my pockets with a few quid, you can get hold of the album <a href="https://cardboarddeadboy.bandcamp.com/album/versus-satan">HERE</a> cheaper than elsewhere, or through <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/versus-satan/1308545876?app=itunes&ign-mpt=uo%3D4">iTunes</a> or <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07778S4SP">Amazon</a> if you prefer.Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-86771194406953726862017-11-08T19:49:00.000+00:002017-11-08T19:49:24.703+00:00CARDBOARD DEAD BOY RULES THE INTERNETOne day! But for now, my insidious plan to cover every square inch of it continues apace as <b><span style="color: red;">CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN</span></b> is now available on:<br />
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<a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/2OoonaANBQdbTuBQoSaLcg">SPOTIFY</a> and <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/versus-satan/1308545876?uo=4&app=itunes&at=1001lry3&ct=dashboard">iTUNES</a> and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/music/album/Cardboard_Dead_Boy_Versus_Satan?id=Br5nus4q5grbxdnitehtmlkjqse">GOOGLE PLAY</a>!!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixnquVfAmxpZ0xOv5-fYt5yOhBpAmMU5GMKXW-rfWJXv4vd7P7einwmHmy93GJuN1C33imXXKaM5BCijphsD31XBhKODsE2AKvU1TggrU8d53tkBgHooDYwPwbSyMmv8j9zcE-5_FPZZI/s1600/CDB+VERSUS+SATAN+COVER.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixnquVfAmxpZ0xOv5-fYt5yOhBpAmMU5GMKXW-rfWJXv4vd7P7einwmHmy93GJuN1C33imXXKaM5BCijphsD31XBhKODsE2AKvU1TggrU8d53tkBgHooDYwPwbSyMmv8j9zcE-5_FPZZI/s320/CDB+VERSUS+SATAN+COVER.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's also available from <a href="https://cardboarddeadboy.bandcamp.com/album/versus-satan">BANDCAMP</a>, with an alternate version (different artwork/tracks) available from <a href="https://thismusicishaunted.bandcamp.com/album/versus-satan-alternate-version">HERE</a>.</div>
<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-24018628279498494422017-10-31T20:02:00.000+00:002017-10-31T20:02:15.453+00:00CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN: RELEASE<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">The prophecy has been fulfilled! </span><b><span style="color: red;">CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN</span></b><span style="color: #1d2129;"> </span><span style="color: #999999;">has been conjured forth by the use of eldritch rituals, ready to damage your ears and send your soul to a terrible abyss. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #999999;">All artwork by the incomparable </span><a class="profileLink" data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=529144544&extragetparams=%7B%22fref%22%3A%22mentions%22%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/Grebofloorshow?fref=mentions" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">Grebo Gray</a><span style="color: #1d2129;"> / </span><a class="profileLink" data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=358884434230058&extragetparams=%7B%22fref%22%3A%22mentions%22%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/greboclouds/?fref=mentions" style="color: #365899; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">Little Black Clouds</a><span style="color: #1d2129;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: black;">WHAT A SUITABLE HALLOWEEN TREAT!</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #1d2129; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3187838928/size=large/bgcol=333333/linkcol=e32c14/tracklist=false/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 470px; width: 350px;"><a href="http://cardboarddeadboy.bandcamp.com/album/versus-satan">VERSUS SATAN by CARDBOARD DEAD BOY</a></iframe></span></div>
Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-77844094092581805262017-10-24T18:27:00.000+01:002017-10-24T18:28:53.568+01:00CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN<br />
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<b>Here's something for your eyeballs:</b></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/utW54JG9VrA/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/utW54JG9VrA?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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Currently polishing off the final track, as well as making any final slight adjustments to the other songs. The whole album is about the Satanic Panic of the 1980s! I've tried to go for a more accessible sound this time, with less noise (though it's still noisy) and more EDM/Berlin Techno-flavoured bits. I've almost always featured a lot of jazz samples in my CDB work and that's streamlined this time into mainly beats, though there's the ghost of my initial 'industrial ambient lounge' description lingering in the back of some tracks.</div>
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Speaking of my 'initial description' - I first started <span style="color: red;">CARDBOARD DEAD BOY</span> wwwaaayyyy back in 2001, I think, maybe 2002. I've churned out god knows how many songs/albums/EPs in that time, but a year or so ago I decided to try and re-focus the CDB sound; to actually create a definite sense of progression between albums. </div>
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Part of that progression involves using the artistic talents of other people, so this time I've enlisted the help of a chap by the name of Grebo Gray aka <a href="https://www.facebook.com/greboclouds/">LITTLE BLACK CLOUDS</a> - he's an artist/photographer with a fine eye for the darker things in life, and I strongly urge you to check out his work. He's provided the artwork for various bands, and right now he's working on the cover art for <span style="color: red;">CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN</span>. He's also the very first person who reviewed my initial CDB release! So it's nice to have that link, and for it to have lasted all this time. </div>
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And speaking of reviews - I'll be sending copies to anywhere I can find that seems like it might be worth asking for a review, so if you're interested or know anywhere, <a href="mailto:unfathomablelegs@gmail.com"><span style="color: magenta;">let me know!</span></a></div>
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Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-90231205236458530122017-09-20T23:50:00.001+01:002017-09-20T23:55:53.623+01:00WE ALL FLOAT DOWN HERELast night, I had the pleasure of watching IT (or rather "ESO") in the company of screaming Colombian women and a 6'5" chap from Florida who kept offering a litany of f-words whenever something spooky happened. To be clear, I'm not being sarcastic - these things really did add to the experience (the Floridian is a mate of mine, and the ladies were sat behind us).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR5cQed9apW6vd0H_zZ1odqkNPrvlxZ0dL3Hk09h88Si3Villv2YhtehfxkIHLesrjcSs4E31Hxy1ET_D4z4ogaXecnsOKwHla7x8u1dqXb5IhD2fLwcW1azx62QSomwXV2sNneBVardra/s640/Eso_BannerLAT1_MF.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="640" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR5cQed9apW6vd0H_zZ1odqkNPrvlxZ0dL3Hk09h88Si3Villv2YhtehfxkIHLesrjcSs4E31Hxy1ET_D4z4ogaXecnsOKwHla7x8u1dqXb5IhD2fLwcW1azx62QSomwXV2sNneBVardra/s400/Eso_BannerLAT1_MF.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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My tall friend (henceforth referred to as 'Legs') was extremely nervous about watching IT as he admitted he gets scared by horror movies, and was genuinely surprised when I said I don't. "How can you enjoy them if they don't fulfill their primary purpose?" was his question. "I still find them fun," I replied. Which is true - I tend to find horror films creepy rather than outright scary, although even then I still tend to find them darkly humourous more than creepy. The last horror film that gave me the willies was probably INSIDIOUS, and the last one that actually unnerved me was THE INVITATION (although that's thanks to the psychological aspect; definitely my favourite type of horror).</div>
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So what about <b>IT</b>? Or rather, <i>this</i> version? I'm not going to do a straight-up compare and contrast between this and the 1990 miniseries, but I can't not mention that in relation to this, as the miniseries did profoundly affect teenage me:<br />
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I first saw the miniseries when I was 13/14 (in 1993) and I couldn't take it. I remember thinking "I like spooky stuff, and I'm a teenager, so I should be able to handle this." I was determined, resolute in my stance that these things provided me with some kind of defence or armour against stuff that freaked me out up until then. My family were staying with some friends in Leeds, and they had a really nice house with a big fancy TV (they and my parents were in the 'best room' - my brother and I were left to our own devices in the 'family room'). I don't remember if my brother tried watching it with me, but I probably warned him to go play in another room (he would have been 10/11 years old). As we both got older, he started showing more of an interest/determination to watch the films I did (whether it was EVIL DEAD 2 or some subtitled Japanese action film) but I knew our parents would kill me if I let him watch an 'evil clown horror film' with me. So off he went, and I settled in to be the first of my friends to watch IT in its entirety (it was been screened as a special 'complete' version ie. back to back episodes, for whatever reason).<br />
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I honestly don't think I managed all of it, because the bleeding Georgie photo, that hideous woman-thing Bev meets, and Pennywise rushing towards the kids as they looked at the old photo, all mentally undid me I can tell you. Tim Curry's Pennywise was 100% terrifying, but even if he hadn't been, the general mood of the show was enough to scare the shit out of me. I did re-watch the miniseries back in December 2016 for the first time since my late teens (when I did properly watch it, as by that time I was devouring any and all horror I could find, both film and book-wise) and now, as an adult, it's obviously not scary BUT that lingering fear/revulsion was still there.<br />
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As a product, it's dated and some bits don't work/aren't as cool as I thought as a teen (chiefly the end, when IT reveals its true form) yet...the weird old lady still creeped me out. Pennywise coming out of the shower floor and tilting his head back to reveal his monstrous mouth...there's a lot of good stuff. The mood and set design (of the flashbacks, in the 50s) are brilliant. But, there's clearly a bunch of ways a new version could improve upon <b>IT 1990</b>.<br />
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First and foremost, the best thing about <b>IT 2017</b> is very clearly the budget. For reasons I don't actually know, I've never read the book (even though I must have read pretty much everything else King wrote around that time period) but from what I understand, the Hollywood budget allowed the filmmakers to more accurately recreate certain scenes. There is a lot of repetition between what this version and the old version show, but - and here's the crucial difference - IT 2017 is more straight-up <i>horrific</i>.<br />
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By this point, both in this post and in your life in general, you must know the plot, but on the off-chance you don't: a group of childhood friends discover an ancient evil lives under their town (Derry) and wakes up every 27 years to feed on kids. They battle it and think it's defeated, only for the creature to return once they're adults.<br />
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I'm not going to spoil any of the nastiness, but certain pivotal scenes (such as Georgie's encounter with Pennywise) involve a lot more violence than I expected. Bill Skarsgard's interpretation of "Pennywise the Dancing Clown" is very similar to Tim Curry's, in a 'flipside of the same coin' way. Generally, whereas old IT was malevolently playful, new IT is more full-on scare-the-shit-out-of-you.<br />
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That motto is certainly something the writers must have had emblazoned on the wall of their writing room, at least if you ask Legs he'll probably think so. The poor chap was all folded up like a cheap deckchair. Even though it didn't affect me on the same level (I found it pretty goofy, but not in a stupid way, more like 'Ghostbusters'), I don't blame him - there <i>are </i>scenes that are like being bludgeoned with terror, including a pretty brilliant update on 'Pennywise moves through an old photo'. IT also gave me the all-too-rare (yet entirely welcome) experience of hearing people shriek in fright, followed by bursts of nervous/relieved laughter. You can manufacture a 'typical' scary film (ask James Wan, not that this is a dig) but you certainly can't manufacture that sort of response.<br />
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Technically, I can't say I found anything about it at fault; I've seen people complain about the CGI but it is what it is. Sometimes it's excellent, sometimes it looks unreal (but I reckon that adds to the horror, since the kids are being assaulted by manifestations). The childhood stuff has been updated to the 1980s and I never felt like I was being constantly reminded about it ie. it's all background references for the most part, in the form of movie posters and the marquee of the local cinema.<br />
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[I will say, even if you're already seen it, next time keep and eye and ear out for some pretty nifty background creepiness - especially the TV the first time we see Bev go home, and a very Tim Curry-like clown in a room of clowns.]<br />
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Narrative-wise, certain characters have had qualities swapped around, so that a couple feel shortchanged - specifically Mike, a homeschooled kid who is originally the one to figure out the '27 years' angle and (as an adult) stays in Derry to keep an eye on things. Here, he doesn't really get to do much. All the kid actors are good though, and there's genuinely a naturalistic/slightly-awkward feel to their performances that sells their chemistry as the so-called "Losers Club".<br />
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I think it's telling that, right at the end when 'CHAPTER ONE' flashes up, there was a communal "Aaahhhhh!". Now, I don't doubt that younger people (like Legs, who is 27) and Colombians are generally unaware of the story structure of IT, so it'll be easy for them to view the next IT as a sequel, rather than technically part of the same story. I don't think cramming everything (the childhood and adult stuff) into one film would have worked without feeling rushed, but I also question the decision to clearly delineate the flashbacks and present day as two distinct films. Removing the juxtaposition of how the kids turn out after their encounter versus the experience itself arguably robs the story of a lot of its emotional/psychological impact - even just a short epilogue showing the kids as adults, ending with a phone call "It's back" (as happens originally) would have been a pretty nifty tease and given a hint as to how they all dealt with such a horrific experience as they grew up. Maybe the second part will work on its own? Who knows. I'm definitely looking forward to finding out, in any case.<br />
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-48379840992693639332017-08-01T18:58:00.001+01:002017-08-01T19:04:50.851+01:00I AM DOCUMENTING YOUR LIFELet me tell you a little bit about what's been keeping me busy lately.<br />
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A few years ago, I wrote product descriptions for Walmart's website. Once I got into the swing of things, I quite enjoyed it and it was always a bit of a lucky dip to see what stuff I'd be sent to write about - it could be anything from pool filters to action figures to black paper plates. I hoped to go back to that work, but the company have since changed their rules so that they only employ American citizens/residents (before, all you needed was a Paypal account). So, I looked into similar work I can sandwich in-between my teaching hours.<br />
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I think I've ended up in a Cabin In The Woods sequel. One that replaces the monsters for a scathing commentary on social media and internet 'celebrity'. You see, I'm currently transcribing video clips. The pay is pretty poor, to be honest, but I'm going to stick doing it for a little while because, well, I literally have no idea who's using the service.<br />
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I've done three clips so far, all between 20 and 30 minutes in length. The first one was some kind of lecture/Excel spreadsheet tutorial by a chap with a heavy Japanese accent. I figured one of his students needed it transcribing, given the heavy accent. I also thought this would form the brunt of the work - transcribing lectures for students. Except the second clip was of a Youtuber: A young black man, using the n-word a copious amount of times, and answering a viewer's question. That question was 'why do black women show their cleavage in church?'<br />
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Now, turns out the host was a deacon's son, so that kind of explained the subject matter. But he said some pretty rough things about women that I obviously won't repeat. It then became apparent he's some kind of science student, as the clip ended with him holding one-sided conversations concerning upcoming exams (he was reading comments on his computer screen).<br />
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And the third clip was of two apparently-teenage girls doing a Ouija board. I swear I'm not making this up.<br />
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They were sat on a bed, talking into a webcam and occasionally checking their phones to read/answer comments. I initially thought I was watching some kind of home video project, or even some kind of super weird sex-cam fetish thing, but then they started mentioning Youtube and their 'stream'. The Ouija board section of their 20 minute video was practically useless, as they--sorry, the spirit--spelled out absolute nonsense. This didn't stop them from getting freaked out in a 'feed each other's fear' type scenario - you know, when one person's calm but because the other person keeps saying or acting a particular way, it starts to influence the calm person's behaviour? That.<br />
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I have absolutely no idea who would want these last two things transcribed. Neither contained any information that would benefit being read or stored. The 'church' one made me think I was amassing evidence against the host and his underground group of 'black women in church' haters, but the Oujia one put me most in mind of CABIN IN THE WOODS.<br />
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In CABIN IN THE WOODS, the company is storing monsters and using them to kill people in strict horror movie ways, in order to appease ancient gods. Maybe this transcription company (or someone using the service) is making sure certain people stream certain things, in order to meet some esoteric internet quota? I honestly have no idea quite what I'm on about, but I can't shake this feeling that some mysterious force is cataloging Youtubers for reasons unknown. Of course, the Youtubers themselves might want it doing, but again, I can't think of any possible reason why, except either misguided vanity or a weird need for compiling their own work.<br />
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Although I'm not being entirely serious about all this Bilderberg-baiting stuff, it's definitely weird. The <i>real</i> concern I have is how easily people share certain things online (names, location, etc). I wish they (and especially young people) would bear in mind that, okay, they might only have a few subscribers, but that doesn't mean they're not being monitored in some other way, so please, please be careful about what information they share. You never know who's watching! *dramatic music*<br />
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-21037323275980597962017-06-16T22:50:00.001+01:002017-06-16T22:50:43.237+01:00WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SUPERMAN'S CORPSE?I recently watched the extended edition of <b>BATMAN V SUPERMAN</b>, in two sittings over two days, which I think may be the best way to ingest it. It's still clumsy and feels overlong, though the extra stuff adds context and doesn't take away from the insane spectacle of the action set pieces. However, it left me with one very pertinent question:<br />
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<b>WHATEVER HAPPENED TO SUPERMAN'S CORPSE?</b><br />
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Spoilers, obviously, but if you somehow made it this far without finding out about the 'shock' ending of the film, I salute you. So anyway, Superman kicks the bucket being heroic, and Clark Kent's death is attributed to the damage caused by the battle. That's a clean way to do it. But then, we see both funerals and Clark's body is at home in an open coffin, before being buried. Fine.<br />
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But what are the military burying in Superman's coffin? How did they not get their mitts on his body? I can imagine Bruce Wayne pulling some strings to make sure the corpse is kept out of their hands, but then someone is bound to wonder where it went. Someone higher up and with more clout than Bruce Wayne must be curious where the corpse of a godlike alien went, unless a 'substitute' was found...? Possible, I suppose.<br />
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But what about Clark's body? Was he laying in his coffin with his glasses on or off? Would someone have embalmed him, or tried to? Again, it's possible Bruce Wayne sorted it so the body was kept out of the typical funeral loop, but I wonder if someone, somewhere, noticed either this or that dead Clark looks remarkably like Superman...? LIFE IS FULL OF MYSTERIES.<br />
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But in all seriousness, I did enjoy the film a lot more a second time, with the extra stuff and viewing Wonder Woman with the knowledge of what shaped her in the past. I also, initially, found her acting wooden, but either because I was used to her mannerisms or just not as bothered by it, I didn't feel the same way during this viewing.<br />
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Plus, I still get chills when this kicks in:<br />
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-70456431570450388522017-06-04T19:01:00.001+01:002017-06-04T19:02:49.404+01:00THAT WOMAN SURE CAN DO SOME WONDERFUL STUFF! [review]Here's a slight change of pace: <b>WONDER WOMAN</b>. I went to see this with a group of friends (mostly ladies) last night and the general consensus was it was really good, despite stretches of tedium. Watch out for my opinion!<br />
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="background-color: black;">The film opens with an overlong and overfamiliar 'origin' of Diana, Princess of Themiscyra (Gal Gadot, actually really good as the character this time around), learning to fight and revealing she has an extra 'power', the exact details of which are needlessly hidden from her by her mum,</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: black;"> </span><span style="background-color: black;">Hippolyte, Queen of the Amazons. To its credit, the film does keep her actual origin as being created from clay, which suggests the weirder aspects of this particular mythology will get an airing (and it does, thanks to a painterly flashback/infodump about the Greek gods).</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: black;">The island the Amazons live on is protected by a forcefield that renders it invisible to the outside world (and apparently keeps the weather<i> just right</i>, too). However, this doesn't stop a German fighter plane from barreling through it into the sea, which Diana witnesses. Without hesitation, she dives in and drags the pilot to safety - it's Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) and he's an American spy who stole the plane in a recent attempt to deliver vital German info to his superiors in London. Unfortunately, he was followed and German soldiers storm Themiscyra, to be beaten by a small army of female warriors (who themselves aren't, unfortunately, bulletproof). As a result of this skirmish, Hippolyte is extremely reluctant to let Diana go with Steve back to the world of man and war, but obviously this plea falls on deaf ears as Diana can't stand by and do nothing, knowing she has the ability to help. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: black;">It's this core belief at the heart of the character that really sells <b>WONDER WOMAN</b>, as she clearly enjoys fighting, but is raised to believe peace is more important than war. However, (as far as she knows) conflict exists thanks to Ares, the god of war, and the main plot of the film sees Diana on a course to find and kill him, thereby (from her viewpoint) ending the First World War and removing Ares' corrupting influence from the heart of all men. Steve Trevor, despite witnessing the Amazons and Diana's superhuman powers, is still convinced (and tries to convince Diana) that war exists, not because of an ancient god pulling our strings, but because some men are evil, and that's an unfortunate fact of life. It's an interesting idea, as both Steve and Diana want the same thing, but come into conflict themselves over the best way to deal with the </span></span><span style="background-color: black;">situation.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">I enjoyed the specatcle of<b> BATMAN V SUPERMAN</b>, but thought the overall film a mess - I also thought Gal Gadot's performance was rather wooden. Thankfully, <b>WONDER WOMAN</b> does far more right than it does wrong, and is a marked improvement on the preceding DC film. The chemistry between Chris Pine and Gal Gadot is excellent, as he counters all her strange behaviour and sincere naivete with a bemused "Well, alright then" but, importantly, doesn't doubt or undermine her. As this early version of Diana, Gal Gadot imbues the 'fish out of water' sensibilities (dealing with early twentieth century society) with a fierce determination to succeed and, above all, do the right thing. There are some really well-handled scenes in which she witnesses the horrors of war and wants to help, but comes to realise it is actually impossible to help everybody, despite her amazing abilities.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">Let's talk about those abilities. She has super strength and enhanced speed, can deflect bullets with her wristbands, is handy with a sword and shield, and uses a lasso that compels anyone caught in it to speak the truth. All of this stuff is used brilliantly, particularly in an extended scene in which she removes German soldiers from a village. <b>WONDER WOMAN</b>, in its action scenes, is a film that made me grin like a loon, as she powerslides her way through opposing forces and superleaps into a building <i>with enough force to demolish it</i>. There are a couple of other things she can do that aren't really explained and seem to only exist as plot devices for when she needs to gain a much-needed upperhand, but I won't touch on those for fear of spoilers.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">The villains are interesting. Danny Huston has now popped up as a bad guy in Marvel and DC films, as here he plays a German captain/commander/higher-up, working in tandem with 'Dr. Poison', a female chemist who develops an horrifically deadly gas. These are, basically, normal humans, responsible for killing thousands of innocent people. There is the suggestion that Danny Huston's character may be some new personifaction of Ares, but I'll leave that up to you to find out. I will say that I really liked the way Ares is handled overall in this film, even if things devolve into a CGI slugfest at one point (but that seems inevitable with these DC films).</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;">Steve Trevor's actual mission is to stop this gas from being deployed, and he enlists a few friends to help him: Sammy, an actor/con-man; Charlie, a melancholy sniper; and Chief, a Native American smuggler. We get just enough flavour to these chaps to get a decent idea of why they'd stick by Steve's side, even if they're not getting paid. And seeing their bemusement at Diana's determination to fight, followed by horror as she launches herself into the firing line, and then surprise as she reveals her incredible powers, is excellent. </span></div>
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<b>WONDER WOMAN</b> is getting a lot of praise solely by virtue of it featuring a strong female lead, and it's a bit sad that that has to be 'a thing' in this day and age, rather than simply commonplace by this point. I really like the fact this is a superhero film I had female friends actively interested in (given that the general view is that they're "boys' films") and that Wonder Woman herself is set to act as a very positive role model for a whole new generation of girls. Maybe the gender politics within the story itself could have had more of a focus, but ultimately I'm glad they're used as theme rather than potentially hamfisted political statement, as this means the film remains <i>fun </i>- which, given the dour nature of the cinematography, historical setting (and current events in real life), is worth celebrating above all else.</div>
Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-10133451154136968152017-05-26T20:03:00.000+01:002017-05-26T20:03:26.488+01:00LIFE IN THE BAMBOOYoooooooooo. As I'm sure many of you know, I'm currently living/working in Colombia, as an English teacher. I've talked a bit about my adventures on here before, but the other day decided I should really make a dedicated blog about it all, for those who're interested in doing the same thing or are just nosey haha<br />
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<span style="color: red;"><b>BEHOLD! --> <a href="https://colombiargh.blogspot.com.co/">LIFE IN THE BAMBOO</a></b></span></div>
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I have four months to catch up on, so at the moment the blog is in 'flashback' mode. Have an eyeball if you're curious!<br />
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<b>In other, creative, news:</b> Regular eyeballers of this blog will know I've been <a href="https://www.indabamusic.com/people/cdb?tab=overview">churning out remixes</a>, but cast your mind back to the end of last year and you may recall I was also <a href="https://atomic-toilet.itch.io/">working on some computer games</a>. There's a teacher's strike currently going on which has gifted me with some unexpected free time, and I intend to use that to start back on the latter activity. I've committed to a forthcoming <a href="https://itch.io/jams">game jam</a> to give myself that impetus to actually do something, so keep 'em peeled, peeps!<br />
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-15344759537343211302017-05-23T23:01:00.001+01:002017-05-23T23:01:12.890+01:00THE OWLS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEMTWIN PEAKS is back and it's super weird, even by Twin Peaks standards. God knows what anyone trying to go into it cold must make of it. In many ways it feels like The Greatest Hits of David Lynch (staged acting, uncomfortable edits, droning soundscapes, nighttime roads, screams, distorted faces, sentient meat, lounge music) and by goodness it's fantastic.<br />
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25 years after Agent Dale Cooper visited the Black Lodge, he's still stuck there (wherever 'there' is) and Bob (BOB?), the malevolent force once at large in Twin Peaks, is now walking around in Cooper's body wearing reptile skin shirts and gazing at the world through soulless shark eyes. For whatever reasons, we don't spend a lot of time in Twin Peaks itself to start with, as we're shown a New York building housing a giant glass cube and another small American town, where a high school principal is arrested in relation to a murder he claims to know nothing about. There are clues and hints as to their places in the story, but since Lynch famously employs dream logic and time loops, who knows where it will all lead.<br />
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What I like most about Twin Peaks returning after all these years is that (apart from the thematic heft of actually doing what a character promised [ie. returning 25 years later]) it'll likely hook a new generation on the work of a filmmaker who's been away from films for around ten/eleven years, in much the same way he hooked myself and some friends in the mid-90s:<br />
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LOST HIGHWAY was my first actual experience of 'proper' Lynch. I'd heard his name before, seen clips of his work, and even caught a few episodes of Twin Peaks at some point, but never had the chance to actually watch any of his films (this <i>was</i> small-town England just as the internet was becoming a reality). I honestly can't remember if I bought the soundtrack before seeing the film, or simply saw it, thought 'a film with this much cool music in must be decent' and then picked up the film on VHS. Whichever way I did it, both the film and score/soundtrack blew my teenage mind and instilled in me a love of time loops and nightmare Americana.<br />
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Honestly, BLUE VELVET is probably my favourite Lynch film (though MULHOLLAND DRIVE is either tied or an extremely close second) due to its mundane start that gets stranger and stranger, but LOST HIGHWAY was a truly singular experience. A jazz musician who gets reborn in a different body, and is haunted by a pasty-faced giggling gent? WHAT.<br />
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And it's true that the soundtrack - something filled with people I'd heard of but never actually heard - acted as something of a gateway drug to weirder music (Hello, Skeletons and the Kings of All Cities! Hello, The Kilimanjaro Darkjazz Ensemble!) that has ensured it's remained a solid album worth revisiting even twenty years(!) after it's debut.<br />
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-73938436535986619892017-05-11T22:49:00.000+01:002017-05-11T22:49:36.485+01:00NOT MORE REMIXES????Yes, I'm afraid so, yes. I seem to be on something on a creative winning streak at the moment, so why not share the fruits of my labours with you, the Internet? WHY NOT INDEED. I had a recent tune complemented by the original artist, as well as some other chap saying it "sounds like it should be on Blade Runner" which has got me right chuffed, I can tell you.<br /><br />Why not give your ears a treat by going here: <a href="https://indabamusic.com/people/cdb?tab=overview">https://indabamusic.com/people/cdb?tab=overview</a><br />
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DO IT, DAMN YOU.Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-8915739881814808142017-04-09T18:36:00.002+01:002017-04-09T18:36:30.694+01:00REMIX FRENZY!HEY YO. I'm currently knee-deep in remixes, because I enjoy ruining other people's music. You can hear a jazzy blast of grinding synth doom here: <a href="https://indabamusic.com/opportunities/ken-loi-deja-vu-remix-contest/submissions/40bdb2b4-1d49-11e7-9392-0e23ec8b8f61?sort=newest">https://indabamusic.com/opportunities/ken-loi-deja-vu-remix-contest/submissions/40bdb2b4-1d49-11e7-9392-0e23ec8b8f61?sort=newest</a> if you feel so inclined. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!<br />
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I'll have THREE more finished soon, too, because I am a goddamn maniac and like to have a lot of plates spinning at once. Double wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-57800721387424684902017-03-22T01:58:00.000+00:002017-03-22T02:02:32.017+00:00KILL YOUR DARLINGSHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!<br />
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It's not all deranged mutant insects and fancy mountains for me right now - sometimes I still do my creative THINGZ and here is one such thing...z.<br />
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It's music!<br />
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<a href="https://www.indabamusic.com/opportunities/little-india-the-hunt-remix-contest/submissions/0d2cd664-0e7b-11e7-bc99-0ee9d79f649d">https://www.indabamusic.com/opportunities/little-india-the-hunt-remix-contest/submissions/0d2cd664-0e7b-11e7-bc99-0ee9d79f649d</a> [I can't seem to get the embedded code to work so have a link instead] It's a jazzed-up rework of The Hunt by Little India, a recent indie band who aren't afraid to drop a ton of sax into their songs. Nice!<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="325" scrolling="no" src="https://embed.indabamusic.com/p?p=https://lydian.indabamusic.com/submissions/0d2cd664-0e7b-11e7-bc99-0ee9d79f649d/playlist" width="470"></iframe>
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Every so often I do remixes, because they're a guaranteed way to get the ol' creative juices flowing like a fresh deep wound. Mmmm! With this one, I kept in mind that famous piece of writing advice 'kill your darlings' ie trim the fat, don't be afraid to lose stuff, don't be too attached, and so forth. I know with my own music I tend to be....I don't think 'self-indulgent' is quite the word (that always makes me think of ten minute widdly guitar solos), more <i>over </i>indulgent. I put sections in songs that sound pretty awesome but bloat the runtime, sometimes affect the flow, all that jazz. So with all the new stuff I'm working on I'm trying to cut down on this. Kill my darlings. This remix is an example, in that I chopped out two minutes of stuff to make it all kick in quicker and flow faster. I also resisted the urge to overly distort any of it, so it's actually pretty accessible, if I do say so myself. And I do!<br />
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-90637037813261620982017-03-11T00:49:00.000+00:002017-03-11T00:49:19.020+00:00GIVE ME BACK MY TAILThere was this story I read as a kid, which some will know as 'Tailypo': a hunter snags the tail of some unknown creature and, over the following few nights, he hears insistent scratching and an inhuman voice say "Give me back my tail" as this thing works its way from right outside his door to, eventually, the foot of his bed. It gave me the willies then and still does now, because I live next to a bamboo forest. Almost every night I hear heavy footsteps crunching their way through the undergrowth just outside my room (I have a window door that opens onto a balcony, with the forest scant feet from the edge of this). Sometimes the neighbours' dog barks its head off at whatever is out there. Sometimes I hear definite scrabbling sounds right outside the door. Last night I heard something in the darkness crackling out a harsh, guttural sound not unlike a person saying "Mike!", which was super weird.<br />
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So in honour of being freaked the shit out almost every night by unknown things, here's a photo medley of some of the horrendous creatures that have actually managed to get inside my room (although some are pretty cool). HAVE AT YOU!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6LHXSSjRq0mJZAOJM57Hlc0aM6MPvaGSXlem7P_w-O1OJWPzofJLz1b6LCqJgEvKOAm9jn_mZOTpF22XY-Lekgj0v0zKua6kI41x0NLCKAqy441v7ekE5iPo7lFizFDrBcjNrUxyzRXM/s1600/DSC07032.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6LHXSSjRq0mJZAOJM57Hlc0aM6MPvaGSXlem7P_w-O1OJWPzofJLz1b6LCqJgEvKOAm9jn_mZOTpF22XY-Lekgj0v0zKua6kI41x0NLCKAqy441v7ekE5iPo7lFizFDrBcjNrUxyzRXM/s320/DSC07032.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If this earwig got inside your brain it'd make Swiss cheese of it within thirty seconds</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ-8BXMm0xWQAoEzfSS7xZYIa-7420Cv0CcYOKiix7xp1o-hScxoO1iJS-0M7fHPT3PXsvJc987H26LgVvQ6rpomek9Ze6Pu4CTumJCyRwX9UFL4JBAj3av21SOvQX2rm11xR1FEFe0rg/s1600/DSC07130.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ-8BXMm0xWQAoEzfSS7xZYIa-7420Cv0CcYOKiix7xp1o-hScxoO1iJS-0M7fHPT3PXsvJc987H26LgVvQ6rpomek9Ze6Pu4CTumJCyRwX9UFL4JBAj3av21SOvQX2rm11xR1FEFe0rg/s320/DSC07130.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one hitched a ride in on my bag the other day</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj36UUZCuqcXhrsXOkAckylE3CY2Yis6fABoa9EAvyVvz7j3HGdNJLLA53g6yCGcNwXlI_g5vpbePhyphenhyphen1XjXzDzOpa3a2Nr7KUTqeh9Ub_uLjuRRABTN9GihWUUGKmtrwIrAAiN7cFzb2as/s1600/DSC06857.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj36UUZCuqcXhrsXOkAckylE3CY2Yis6fABoa9EAvyVvz7j3HGdNJLLA53g6yCGcNwXlI_g5vpbePhyphenhyphen1XjXzDzOpa3a2Nr7KUTqeh9Ub_uLjuRRABTN9GihWUUGKmtrwIrAAiN7cFzb2as/s320/DSC06857.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why hello there little Glowbutt Bugface</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9X8HcMV4Sq2mQjLzYGESN3qXjbw78m8RE4JQz2_Q5_qF1kqrvi6DZOsWm3FeebqM_egT5v5pIzjcyMsHDPT8sRXOeEEWeJluSucQC9MtJOaoOxsRRcyTXaLcfIspHiz_wUevkfEFa5OM/s1600/DSC06888.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9X8HcMV4Sq2mQjLzYGESN3qXjbw78m8RE4JQz2_Q5_qF1kqrvi6DZOsWm3FeebqM_egT5v5pIzjcyMsHDPT8sRXOeEEWeJluSucQC9MtJOaoOxsRRcyTXaLcfIspHiz_wUevkfEFa5OM/s320/DSC06888.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">PSEUDO MOTH WANTS TO EAT YOU WITH ITS HELLISH FACE</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY8U51LgJtO3SuUDTZqt1I41Yyy-knUOi-Z_A9cKfjMTSC_MJG1r482g4ds_CcHzj3238d_k7YH9yzIYY6ufrf6Krb85D4iFaZqsQFnIHV_mUN-7K6e-m7LjxHMCouGzK1S_5hFTk3RMA/s1600/DSC06961.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY8U51LgJtO3SuUDTZqt1I41Yyy-knUOi-Z_A9cKfjMTSC_MJG1r482g4ds_CcHzj3238d_k7YH9yzIYY6ufrf6Krb85D4iFaZqsQFnIHV_mUN-7K6e-m7LjxHMCouGzK1S_5hFTk3RMA/s320/DSC06961.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This cicada was seriously GIGANTIC</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyPU5XZqje6HmJEDG_vjlKqBfEL-939bzyEr8FhJRz0e32_DFjzzw5-QRFzlYARzxXJro5TiTyt4wyB_QfZ7-za_MNWJV6mDkkkEtnWMHxY8YtyBowBr6cHkgroFnTjyFmpXUs6Vgwgw/s1600/DSC06967.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCyPU5XZqje6HmJEDG_vjlKqBfEL-939bzyEr8FhJRz0e32_DFjzzw5-QRFzlYARzxXJro5TiTyt4wyB_QfZ7-za_MNWJV6mDkkkEtnWMHxY8YtyBowBr6cHkgroFnTjyFmpXUs6Vgwgw/s320/DSC06967.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh, you're cool, you can stay</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKx4gX8OqSX1WZU2EtdIUb6Fx8rYiUw2xxsKG5DNH_7SuuGDc-KQUTFF4uA7Ce7A6JEpaV6WAGDAD2qCSZjqdIJs7Q2FzQU8JsC2ksKbW2PEc0ajeTvw4OOX_WZEI2yK2-mMvMgOzS2z8/s1600/DSC07007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKx4gX8OqSX1WZU2EtdIUb6Fx8rYiUw2xxsKG5DNH_7SuuGDc-KQUTFF4uA7Ce7A6JEpaV6WAGDAD2qCSZjqdIJs7Q2FzQU8JsC2ksKbW2PEc0ajeTvw4OOX_WZEI2yK2-mMvMgOzS2z8/s320/DSC07007.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one is actually deadly. Oops!</td></tr>
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<br />Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-48141660932765578102017-02-18T23:28:00.001+00:002017-02-18T23:28:53.260+00:00COLOMBIAAARRGGHHHH!!!!!HOLA, INTERNET! I have now been in Colombia for just over three weeks, and as of this past week I officially started teaching English to high schoolers! More on this in a moment.<br />
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BUT FIRST. I'm going to get a bit sad and personal, in order to illustrate some really lovely points, so hold on.<br />
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*deep breath*<br />
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I got divorced less than three months ago and I neither expected it nor understand exactly why it happened. I was supposed to be living and working in Texas by now so, as I'm sure you can imagine, I was tremendously unbalanced by this. BUT! I've never been one to just sit on my hands so I quickly resolved to try and use all that horrendous misery to power something productive and, well, here I am in Colombia having a fantastic time. A <i>legitimately</i> fantastic time, not a fake 'grin and bear it' situation. And I'll illustrate why it's all so great, soon enough.<br />
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I thought I might be able to ignore this unpleasant aspect of my life, but it is the catalyst for my being here, and I've found myself having to explain to people why exactly I a) have no future plans at all and b) why I keep saying "I'm here to start a new life." Like one of my new friends said to me recently, my divorce is never going to be something I look back on and think "Wow, I'm glad that happened" but I will be able to see it as a necessary stepping stone to something wonderful. And speaking of wonderful, let me tell you how brilliant Colombia is. LET ME.<br />
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<b><span style="color: lime;">1. THE COUNTRY IS GORGEOUS. </span></b>Australia is beautiful and I don't think anywhere else can quite beat it, but Colombia is pretty much Another Australia so I think a tied first place isn't unreasonable. There are mountains everywhere. There are peaks upon peaks. Coffee farms and banana plantations sprout from the hillsides everywhere you look. And there are some really pretty birds and interesting bugs all over the place. Feast your eyes:<br />
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<b>COR, LOOK AT ALL THAT STUFF!</b></div>
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<b><span style="color: lime;">2. THE PEOPLE ARE SUPER FRIENDLY.</span></b> True story time: myself and two of my new friends (also teachers, whom I'm currently sharing a place with) visited a picturesque mountain town called Cordoba and walked up a mountain road. On the way back down a jeep pulled over (with two blokes in it) and they offered us a ride back down. My friends are American women in their early twenties so there was some hesitation, but since we outnumbered them we decided "Why not?" </div>
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Cue a lift back, not to the town, but our actual city (Armenia)! The driver, John Fabio, relished telling us how much he was enjoying learning English, and told me a few new words in Spanish (both my friends are fluent) and it was a thoroughly enjoyable hour's journey. My friends didn't feel unsafe at any point and, obviously, it provided us all with a really lovely experience to share.</div>
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<b>Here's another! </b>I visited a small cafe and had a really nice cappuccino. A chap sat nearby realised I was English and came over to talk to me. I said the coffee was very nice and he said the best way to truly savour the blend was by drinking an espresso - so he bought me one! </div>
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<b>And one more!</b> My friend (a male teacher) and I got lost on the way to our friends' apartment the other night, so my friend asked a group of young women if they knew where we needed to go. Not only did they know, but they offered to give us a lift! So there we were, crammed into a people carrier with seven women. I cannot imagine that happening anywhere else in the world. I cannot imagine any of the above situations happening anywhere else in the world.</div>
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<b><span style="color: lime;">3. THERE IS FOOD EVERYWHERE.</span></b> People apparently just take it upon themselves to set up food stalls whenever and wherever they want. It's a health and safety nightmare, but it does mean you can grab a fresh fruit salad literally every fifty paces. It's BANANAS, ahh hahaha. There's a lady on my street who makes and sells arepas right next to her house everyday, for example. Food is also, generally speaking, pretty bloody cheap; you can get a decent lunch of rice, beans, egg, soup, meat and plantain for less than $5 AUD. nb. rice and beans are staples of the Colombian diet. I'm surprised I haven't farted anybody to death yet.</div>
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<b><span style="color: lime;">4. THE KIDS ARE ACE.</span></b> I work with existing Colombian teachers to teach a bunch of English lessons for 9th, 10th and 11th graders and they are all super lovely. They do struggle with my accent compared to my other co-teachers (who are generally all American) because mine isn't straightforward 'British', but the upside to this is they love hearing me talk. There have been numerous occasions already where students grab me as I'm passing just so they can practice their English on me, or hang around after class to talk to me. It's nice that I can already see how my presence is making a positive difference, and from chatting to my fellow teachers they're experiencing similar situations. </div>
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Now, I'm not so starstruck by being involved in something new that I'm not aware that I'm bound to have less than stellar experiences, whether they're at school or just out and about, but it's hard to imagine right now as things are going great guns (sort-of; I do get an awful lot bugs in my room at night, arrgghh). Frankly, after going through what was without a doubt the worst experience of my life, and still dealing with my ex-wife's unpleasant behaviour, I can't possibly suffer anything else quite as negative. I'm now constantly surrounded by positive people, I feel appreciated, and we all share the same core desire to make the most of our lives by seeing and doing as much as possible (and help teach kids English at the same time). </div>
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I'm not going to end with some naff "life's too short" nonsense, but I am going to state how (before I was married) my personal motto was 'the future is not yet written' ie. it's a bit daft to plan for it when anything can happen. My life is a case in point. I made a ton of plans with my ex and, obviously, none of them can happen. So I'm back to taking each day as it comes and seeing where this current path I'm on leads me. </div>
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All I'll say is, if you've ever fancied doing something different, whether it's teaching/travelling or something else, give it a go. Don't let yourself get caught up in making excuses why you can't; make actual plans and put your money where your mouth is. If you truly do want to do it (whatever it is) then you can't fail, because by actually doing it in the first place you'll already have succeeded. If you want a less rosy outlook, think of it as "even if I don't end up enjoying it, or do it for very long, at least I gave it a shot, which is more than most people do."</div>
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HASTA LUEGO! </div>
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ps. to end, here's my personal theme tune at the moment:<br /><iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dvmNRtjITRU/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dvmNRtjITRU?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-2958597528730150312017-01-11T02:39:00.002+00:002017-01-11T02:39:37.361+00:00EVERY DEAD THING AND OTHER HORRORSAbout a year ago, maybe a bit less, I got really bored of reading the same sort of stuff - when it comes to films, I can happily watch anything, but I'm a lot less lenient with books. Why spend time chewing on a potentially boring thriller when you can devour a well-written horror? I'm making a grotesquely broad generalization there, but what it boils down to (for me) is: I like old detective thrillers, but all the modern books are like TV cop dramas. There's some grisly death and a world weary detective solves the case. Rinse and repeat. I was looking for something not dissimilar to what I like to write, which could be broadly (or narrowly, I suppose) defined as 'horror noir'. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there doesn't seem to be much of a market for this, which made it all the more surprising that I stumbled across the work of JOHN CONNOLLY.<div>
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Thanks to my local library's database revealing his books as 'horror/crime' I picked up a copy of THE WHISPERERS, which turned out to be the tenth novel featuring his detective creation Charlie Parker. What sold me on giving it a go was the mention of supernatural elements worked into a crime story, which is exactly what I got. However, despite the overt reference to demons and unnatural happenings, it was Charlie Parker himself who grabbed me. A lot of the book doesn't follow his point of view, and I found those bits a little dull. They were well-written, don't get me wrong, but Parker's personality is so strong it made everything else pale in comparison. </div>
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Parker's a haunted man, but also possessed of a strong wit and driving need to see justice done. He exudes a paradoxical menace; dangerous to know but also the sort of person you feel safe having on your side. I was so enamoured with his adventures I immediately set about trying to get hold of the rest of the Parker series. His "gimmick", if you will, is sharing a name with a famous jazz musician, so that he's often nicknamed 'Bird'. Thankfully, this conceit rapidly fades away (I don't think anyone calls him that in the last few novels at all) and the character gets to stand on his own two feet.</div>
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Thanks to someone in my area obviously following the same path, I read a few of the novels in a random order, but have since managed to read everything up to THE BLACK ANGEL (the fifth novel) and after THE UNQUIET (the sixth novel - both of these are packed and ready to read on my travels, when I leave the country at the end of this month), save the short stories that feature in some of Connolly's anthologies. THE WHISPERERS remains, I think, the weakest of the lot, though it's a clear testament to Connolly's writing that it still made me want to read more.</div>
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Throughout the series, supernatural elements come into play, though with varying degrees of success. Perhaps my favourite novel - in terms of crime plot - is THE BURNING SOUL. In this one, a young girl goes missing from a small town and an unassuming accountant with a dark past hires Parker to help figure out if someone knows about this and/or is looking to pin the crime on him. The supernatural aspects are practically non-existent but the way certain characters are shown to be less savoury than they appear more than makes up for this. </div>
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This is followed by an exceptionally supernatural tale, THE WRATH OF ANGELS, in which previous characters and questions as to Parker's past and 'uncanny nature' come to light in a story that also explicitly features a buried, malevolent god. Great stuff. THE WOLF IN WINTER follows this with an intriguing, though ultimately squandered, tale of a town that feeds women to another, different, buried entity. </div>
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However, events in this book lead into A SONG OF SHADOWS, which I'm currently reading. It's another one like THE WHISPERERS in that, so far, Conolly is keeping the action removed from Parker's viewpoint; effectively, making him a character in his own story. This has worked well before, (particularly in THE REAPERS, which focused on Louis and Angel - Parker's best friends and thoroughly dangerous accomplices) though here it can't help but create a kind of impatience: we know, from many of the other books, how Parker tends to come across to others, but how is his current situation affecting him directly? What is going through his mind right now, as he takes it upon himself to investigate the discovery of a corpse on the beach near his current hideaway? </div>
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I can't wait to find out, though. From all accounts his latest, brand new, book, A TIME OF TORMENT, is an excellent jumping-on point for new readers, but I'd recommend THE LOVERS, before going back to the beginning with EVERY DEAD THING. THE LOVERS deals with Parker's childhood and the suicide of his father, which is mentioned quite a few times beforehand, though the events surrounding his dad's death feature a heavy supernatural component that gets repeated/referenced in later novels. It works as a decent standalone story but also gives that sense of intrigue that makes reading the preceding books that little bit more interesting: Parker is touched by the unnatural from the very beginning, so in what ways will it manifest going forward?</div>
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And now, to finish, how can I not link to his namesake? I CAN'T. So here you go:</div>
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Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487623619005615100.post-56034324917586607242017-01-01T09:01:00.000+00:002017-01-01T09:01:23.079+00:00UP YOURS, 2016!Happy New Year, whoever and wherever you are! I'm off to teach English in South America! Here's to new beginnings!Rev. Austinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02520856854058360914noreply@blogger.com0