- Do you wake up in the middle of the night to find the contents of your kitchen rearranged in spectacular fashion?
- Have all the family photos inexplicably vanished?
- Did something set off your burglar alarm, yet every door and window remained locked?
- Has your youngest son blamed weird behaviour on an "imaginary" friend?
- Bleeding from your face? Headbutting windows? Doing a wee in your pants in public?
- Are financial problems providing both familial stress and a convenient way to brush off all this weirdness?
- Did you use the internet to find answers to these problems, and discover that you're being targeted by aliens?
|Nope. Wrong one!|
|Nope. Still the wrong one!|
Maybe their friends and neighbours will help? Not if the house is bombarded by hundreds of suicidal birds, they won't! Suddenly, you're all 'dangerous' and 'suspicious'. Better than 'knee-jerk reactionary', pal! What can a family facing such a dilemma possibly DO? What can they DO? Oh lordy there must be something they can DO!
The internet! That knows everything!
Okay, let's cut them some slack. Fifteen years ago you'd have asked a librarian. Nowadays, you ask the internet. But, like medical self-diagnosis, it can't always be trusted. So that's when you turn to the experts!
|Nope. STILL WRONG!|
So he tells the family some stuff, and my attention wandered for a considerable amount of time and then the aliens are attacking the house! OH NO. There they are, all shadowy and spindly, yet flooding everywhere with bright white light and altering reality for some reason that only comes into play now and not at any point before. For instance, a door is shown bulging and straining unnaturally as some terrible blinding white force pushes through--but it was actually the dad, desperate to rescue his sons! Oh no that's not the aliens messing with reality, that's cheap and lazy filmmaking. But then they DO mess with reality and for some reason make the SPOILERS. Oooof, nearly ruined it! I mean, in a way the filmmakers couldn't. But god bless 'em if they didn't try! The film then ends in a way that appears to set up events that I think would be infinitely more interesting to examine than every single thing that came before. Paradoxically, the conclusion is also something those of us in the business refer to as "bullshit".
|Oh, I give up.|
Argh. And this is wrong, too. Ridiculous.