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Sunday, 10 October 2010


The time has come to bid a fond farewell to some very dear friends of mine. They've filled my life with joy and pride (well, one of them has) and many, many fruitless hours of waiting for them to actually DO something. I hoped they'd have children and grow old together, or indulge in a three-way and make some sort of mutant mega-baby, but this never happened. Maybe I cut one of them off in his prime, so the blame lies squarely on my shoulders. The others...never really did anything in the first place so I can't be blamed for their lack of enthusiasm.

So please, join me in bidding farewell to three of the worst pets I ever had, as I set them free in the backyard to get eaten by birds or perhaps ants. Sayonara, LEGS MCKINLEY (Impossibly Fast Snail), PAJAMAS BANDICOOT (Relatively Attractive Snail) and TINY TIM (Very Very Small Snail). We'll always have Acapulco *sniff*

Legs McKinley, pissing all over the competition at the Indoor Snail Racing Championships, 16th July 2010.

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