SHIT, ROSEMARY!

REC 3: GENESIS [2012] is an excellent film, but that's not the word I would actually use to describe it. 'Gleeful' is the word. REC 3 is a gleeful film.

I haven't seen a trilogy of [horror] films that managed to not only maintain but build upon the energy of the previous entries into the franchise since RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (or, all right let's get the reference in cos it's popular at the moment, EVIL DEAD). Let's pretend for a moment that there aren't plans for a REC 4 so as not to spoil where I'm going with this.

REC took place in an apartment block as a zombie outbreak took hold. REC 2 either takes place at the same time or directly after (I can't remember which) but it flowed wonderfully. It also revealed that the 'infected' were actually possessed. Nice little curveball there. REC 3 carries on this idea and plays with it in an organic manner - the infected can't enter churches, are burned by holy water, and don't like Bible quotes. And it's lucky this is the case, since REC 3 takes place at a wedding reception.

The happy couple, moments before the shit hits the fan - or rather, the uncle hits the table.

Koldo and Clara are in love. We know this thanks to one of the best film intros I have ever seen - the film starts as if we've just loaded up their wedding day DVD, before cutting to 'live' filming from the big day itself. But, just as things appear to be settling into a (well done) 'found footage' groove, BANG! a drunk uncle falls off a balcony, things go mental, and we're hit with the title card. 20 minutes into the film. Bravo. The transition from cinéma vérité to normal film is a little jarring at first, but the film soon finds its feet. And when it does, it does not stop running.

Always remember to brush twice a day.

REC 3 asserts itself with an absurd enthusiasm that reminded me of 80s horror films [although to be fair, lots of things remind me of 80s horror films. Going to shops can remind me of 80s horror films] but particularly DEMONS 2. But whereas that film doesn't quite seem aware at its mentalness/can't maintain a level tone, REC 3 is and can. At one point Koldo's wandering about in a suit of armour, for one thing. Then, Clara gets hold of a chainsaw...it's from about the halfway mark that the film really earns the gleeful descriptor, as some of the kills are violently over-the-top in a manner reminiscent of oh hell let's namecheck another cult favourite: BRAINDEAD aka DEAD ALIVE.

TIMBEEEERRRRRR!

It's important to note REC 3 isn't scary. Perhaps this is the price of progress, for if the film repeated the tone of the first film (which really shit me up in places) it wouldn't have the same impact. Arguable, of course, but taking a full-on marathon of a film like REC 3 and sticking spooky bits in would undoubtedly feel shoehorned in, as a way to pay homage to previous entries (REC 2 has one well done scary bit that is only tempered by its closeness to the first film's standout scare), not to mention drag down the pace and overall feel of the movie.

But it's not just the sheer energy that makes REC 3 so goshdarn brilliant. The leads feel natural, whether they're (in the case of Clara, especially) portraying doe-eyed love or wide-eyed terror. Damn, if that girl hasn't got the sort of eyes a guy could drown in.

See?

The editing is tight and only confusing when it's clearly meant to be (re: the initial panic right before the title), the sound design is top notch, from the unearthly guttural roars of the infected to the cheesy wedding tunes that soundtrack the horror in a nice juxtaposition. The script feels tight and polished - for instance, every set-up has a punchline, even things you didn't realise were a set-up (hello, Grandad!). It also engenders a true sense of fear, in so much as horror is the true inability to do something eg being forced to watch a tragedy unfold beyond your reach. There are moments in REC 3 where the filmmakers are clearly telling you, the audience, that "Nobody is safe", no matter how much you might hope this to be the case.

I, personally, would rather take this type of horror over jump scares and musical stings any time of the day. Or night. It's weirdly more realistic and believable. How often do we find ourselves in a situation where our loved ones are in danger but we are literally powerless to act? With any luck, many of us will never encounter this sort of situation, but it does happen, because that's life. We're not truly scared of the masked maniac jumping out of the shadows with a machete as that is implausible; it's the terrorist who detonates a bomb without warning that terrifies us, because we can't do anything about it.

I may be belabouring the point a little, as well as undermining my previous point that REC 3 isn't scary. What I should probably have said is that it isn't Hollywood scary. But, sometimes all we want is a good fake scare. A good movie scare, because after all, if it gets too much, we can just turn it off, right?

MASSIVE NEWS UPDATE ALL UP IN YOUR FACE

Here I am! Things have been a bit mental for a while, but now I've got the chance, allow me to PIMP THE HOLY WHATSIT OUT OF LOADS OF THINGS.

First things first: METAHORDE by John McCuaig and Sean T. Page.

This is the latest in the Ministry of Zombies series of zombie books from Australian publishers Severed Press. Whereas the previous books have taken the form of 'historical texts' this is an actual novel, and is pretty darn good. The initial set-up is a bit 'been there, done that' as we're introduced to a world in ruins, with survivors of a zombie apocalypse living in fortified settlements. However, we are also introduced, straight off the bat, to this novel's not-so-secret weapon: the idea of the metahorde itself. Basically, zombies have started to show signs of a 'hive mind' - in other words, once enough of them are together, they share a collective "intelligence". It is an intriguing and original concept that I certainly haven't seen utilized in zombie fiction before.

Enter a plucky band of survivors, including a boffin, his two assistants, and a gung-ho squad of soldiers. The boffin (Carter) has figured out that the zombies are massing, and sweeping across the world, obliterating all in their wake. So far, a few settlements have been wiped out, with his (an ancient fort in France) next on the menu. Together, our ragtag bunch set off for a power plant on the predicted route of the zombie horde, with the aim to blow it up as they pass, (hopefully) stopping them.

What I like most about this book is the sheer speed at which events unfold. Dilemmas and apparent answers are brought up and revealed in quick succession, making you wonder how on earth the story's going to progress. Thankfully, rather than running out of steam, METAHORDE continues to pick it up with surprise after surprise. I don't want to spoil any, other than mention the very unexpected introduction of a particularly suicidal cult of religious extremists (again, something I haven't seen done before in a zombie book).

METAHORDE is perhaps more action than horror, but that's not a bad thing. There were a few typos and some slightly odd formatting (line breaks when they didn't need to be any) that occasionally took me out of the story, but other than that it's a fast-paced read with humorous dialogue and well-written locations - I could easily envisage all the places that the characters find themselves in, which is worth more than you might think.

If you'd like to get a copy (which, obviously, I recommend you do) you can find it on Amazon.
You can find out more about Sean T. Page HERE!
You can find out more about John McCuaig HERE!

NEXT! The long-awaited/oft-delayed NO MORE HEROES by myself and Bill Tucker!

I can't even tell you how long it's taken for this book to see the light of day. Basically, it ended up being dropped by the original publisher due to financial reasons. Thankfully, Matt Nord (who appears in it, and whom I've shared book-space with before) stepped up to the plate and has released it. Everyone involved helped fuel my passion for this by exercising extreme patience and support, for which I can't thank them enough.

But what's it all about, Wayne? Shut up and I'll tell you!

On November 20th, 2009, a catastrophic event dubbed The Cataclysm wiped the world's greatest heroes and villains off the face of the planet and created a death toll stretching into the millions.

Though most of the world survived, it is now in the grip of the super villains who avoided The Cataclysm. It may not have been quite the victory they expected, but it is the outcome they wanted: all the heroes are dead and the world is theirs...

Or so they believe...

It's a shared world anthology, in which characters - both good and evil - crop up in other stories, to build up a central narrative. The world is in the grip of supervillains, but one-by-one, heroes are making themselves known...Bill and I created a roster of characters for people to use, and they've done so admirably! The stories in here run the gamut from comedy to tragedy, with plenty of action and some extremely cool use of powers. Of course I'm going to gush about it, but I'm supremely proud of this anthology. I honestly believe there's nothing (or very little) like it out there at the moment. If you really do believe in supporting 'the little guy', then please, for the love of all that's holy, get a copy :) THANKS!

Get it HERE and HERE! More info on this book can be found via the No More Heroes blog! --> http://nomoreheroesanthology.blogspot.co.uk/

PENULTIMATE NEWS! The art collective I run with my friend has applied for funding for a film festival. As you can imagine, this has taken a lot of my time up, what with writing funding bids and attending meetings like a proper businessman/adult, but it's all very exciting. The main thing we hope to do is run filmmaking workshops (as that's my background). You can find out more about this HERE!

FINAL NEWS! My band, Handsome Bastards, are back off our self-imposed hiatus and are working on new material, with the aim to do an album/tour next year. The most exciting news is that we were played on BBC radio last night! Not only that, but they'd like us to go in and do a live session!!! You can hear the radio show HERE (we're on from a bit after the 1hr 30 min mark) and keep up-to-date with our handsome shenanigans HERE. 

And that's HOW for NOW!

I can't get enough of this group at the moment. Plus this video's cool!