Feliz Año! If I don't include the tilde above the 'n' this post heading would mean 'Happy Anus'.

We're now 17 days into 2020! As noted back in September, I had a bunch of irons in the fire...so what's going on right now? As often happens, I end up doing a bunch of creative stuff so that one or more things fall by the wayside (due to time, mainly). However, I've been full steam ahead with Cardboard Dead Boy the last few months. 

MUSIC

My music isn't on Spotify etc any more because of the cost, but once I've got enough new material I'll be flooding the internet with CDB again YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT.

I've mostly been REMIXING. This gives me a) a chance to practice writing jazz beatz and b) brings my music to a new audience. If you'd like to be part of that audience, point your eyes and ears HERE.

WRITING

The main reason I started this blog way back in, I think, 2009(!) was to showcase any and all stories I had published. I haven't had a lot of time in the last few years, for various reasons, to focus on writing, but that doesn't change the fact I've had almost thirty stories published - many in anthologies. Click the Amazon Author link over there --> and you'll find a bunch still available! 

My current plan, and one I've been very steadily working on, is to rewrite/clean up a bunch of my previously published stories that are now out-of-contract, and stick them in a new collection. I don't have a deadline for this, but probably should so it lights a fire under my arse. So let's say...February 29th 2020*. If we're living in a leap year, might as well do something a little weird on that extra day.

One thing that slows me down in this regard is, ironically enough, a writing job I've picked up so as to bring a bit of money in whilst I'm a stay-at-home dad. It's articles, on a variety of subjects, and it is pretty interesting. Just yesterday I looked at the legalization of marijuana, and last week I researched NFL injuries. Two things I couldn't care less about, yet I still found something interesting about them both.

This job entails running articles through various services to check grammar, etc. One of those is Hemingway. I know these kinds of 'writing style' apps have gained more popularity in recent years, but I hate them. They grade your writing on an arbitrary scale that does not take into account your writer's voice, language and grammar differences (and believe me, after teaching English as a foreign language the last few years, there are plenty of differences to take into account).

*the thing that slows me down the most is that I want to include a brand new novella, but it's not finished and may not be for a while. I'm writing it with very little planning, to see what comes out. So far, some really weird stuff and I think it's shaping up nicely. I'm also looking at self-publishing a novel, but I kind of don't want to do this until I can get a solid marketing plan into action.

The other thing to take into account when submitting stories is that it takes a while. Ideally, you should give yourself a full day to research and hit up a bunch of suitable markets. It becomes a full-time job in itself. I'm also aware that, when I started getting things published, I was caught in a perfect storm. I joined a couple of really supportive networks (Cafe Doom and the Library of the Living Dead) and benefited from that immensely. Both those networks technically still exist, but time has done what it must to all things and weathered them away to a shadow of their former selves.

Anyway, before I start getting maudlin, let's have a look at:

GAMES

I haven't worked on any video games since September last year. To be honest, I think I needed to give myself a bit of break from this because I was pouring a ton of time and effort into it that I really should have used on music/writing. 

Again, the aim is still to have an actual game finished and (hopefully) available in various online stores, but I'm going to really take my time with this one. My writing should and will take precedence. 

And that's your lot!

¡FELZ ANO NUEVO! / SELF-PUBLISHING AS VALIDATION

Helloooooooooooooooo. We're nearly three weeks into 2018 and things are already heating up!

Well, not really, but I wanted to start with something dramatic. Things are continuing pretty much as they've always done, which is either thanks to determinism, eternal recurrence or laziness, who knows.

Actually, I've not been too lazy - I spent December in Puerto Rico, then came back to Colombia, so I've been out and about seeing and doing cool stuff. I'll actually have another AWOUND THE WORLD WITH WAYNE done about Puerto Rico probably next week, so you can all eyeball the things I eyeballed, from the comfort of your bedroom/study/secret lab/wherever you read this.

I'm currently waiting to hear about more teaching work (the more observant of you will recall I've been working as an English teacher here in Colombia the last year) so to fill my time, I've been working on a few creative endeavours. Mainly music, but I'm also going to try and make a concerted effort with my writing again, if I can. But first, the MUSIC! -->

Alternate Version cover art by Grebo Gray

I wrote and released an album of industrial/electronica under the name CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN at the end of 2017 (you can buy/listen to it HERE and HERE and through a ton of other sites). The overall theme is the Satanic Panic of the 1980s, so the song titles and voice samples largely reflect that. So far, it's had one really decent review on Brutal Resonance, with (I hope) more reviews to come. I mean, I've bombarded nearly twenty relevant sites with a review request/promo copy, so you'd think at least one more of those would oblige. We'll see, I guess.

Since I'm using a service called Distrokid to get my music all over the Internet, I figured it'd be daft not to take advantage of this, so I've also recently released the Alternate Version of VERSUS SATAN. It has different cover art, and the first, middle and end tracks are also exclusive to this release (though you can purchase them separately if you want to go a little nuts and compile your own version of the album. What a time to be alive!). This can be heard HERE and HERE and, again, basically everywhere on the internet by this point.

And lastly, I uploaded my 2014 album to the same places. It's called THE CARDBOARD DEAD BOY ELECTRIC RESURRECTION INSTRUCTION MANUAL, and athough I don't think it's as focused as my new stuff, has its merits. This is also on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon, etc etc etc.

I'm currently working on a more jazz beats-flavoured bunch of CDB songs, for a four track EP that'll see the light of day at some point this year. I also like the idea of doing the CDB version of pop music and calling the release PLAYS ALL THE HITS, but we'll see if this idea pans out.

Alongside all this, I'm also trying my hand at more straighforward techno, under the name THE UNIVERSE IS DYING. It shares a fair bit of DNA with CDB but minus the jazz, glitches and noise. I'm keeping it dark though, with this quote forming the 'mission statement', if you will:

"...we have learned our own insignificance, and that amongst the infinite number of stars, each supporting their own system of inhabited planets, our earth occupies an infinitesimally small portion, and the destruction of it would make no difference whatever..." 

- John F. Blake, Astronomical Myths, 1877.

I've been making videos for each song, too, as an additional little creative challenge. You can give these an eyeball by click the band name!

And now, the WRITING! -->

I haven't had anything new published since November 2014 :'( but I did use 2015-2016 to write and polish a novel called A WRETCHED PLACE. It's influenced by Jeff Vandermeer's Southern Reach Trilogy (which is EXCELLENT) and Sophocles' Theban plays. It has a slightly weird structure, that follows a woman, her husband (who narrates his sections), an (unwitting?) agent of chaos and a sinister preacher (the best kind!) as their paths cross along fractured timelines in a world now in the grip of monstrous gods. I've subbed it to a few publishers already, and some of them requested the full manuscript, but so far no luck landing an actual contract.

Today, however, I started tweaking my first novel (which also had a lot of publishers request a full manuscript and nearly found a home in a couple of places) THIS VILLAGE NEVER DREAMS. It is/was initially a cyclic/episodic novel in which a PI, Jack Green, starts to unravel an insane conspiracy to bring ancient gods back to Earth. I thought it wouldn't really work as a single, typical narrative since it covers ten months to a year in his life, as it slowly goes down the toilet thanks to encountering monsters/cults etc.

BUT, now I think I might be able to do it. I'm going to try and break it into MONTHS instead of typical chapters, and weave the various cases together so that, for instance, he starts one as another is ongoing (at the moment, events and people are referenced/completed between stories, but they're still "this happened and then this happened"). It's going to require a lot of work and narrative/structural wizardry, I reckon, but I think I need to get back into my old writing discipline of doing at least a few hours a day. Plus, at least I have the whole damn thing already written - I just need to reshape it, so I'm confident this is achievable.

The aim is to then (re)send this off to publishers, but a tiny part of me is considering self-publishing. A ton of my writer chums self-publish and seem to do alright from it, but the issue I have is a) finding an actual publisher still feels like legitimacy and b) you need to have a decent network/marketing plan in mind if you're going to handle all this yourself.

Now, I have no qualms about, effectively, self-publishing my music. Partly because this doesn't take me as long to write and partly because there are, as stated above, services and ways to get your music on the most platforms possible (and therefore decent pay from sales). I don't know if there are any such services for writers, other than manually uploading it to all the various self-publishing sites.

I've also been considering, as a kind of 'test-run', releasing a collection of short stories - all previously published, but now out of contract. I need to tweak them, and ideally want to include at least a couple of new stories, but one of those stories is wildly out of control and doesn't want to end. I pride myself on being the sort of person who doesn't say something unless he intends to do it, so I should probably put my money where my mouth is and actually get this done haha.

ANYWAY. This has been a bumper update, so that should tide you over for a while. Speaking of 'tide', can you believe we all live in a world where kids are eating laundry detergent? I probably put stuff I shouldn't have in my mouth when I was a baby, but I had the self-awareness of a baby then so it's expected. Kids these days, good grief.

Let me leave you with what it literally filling my ears as I type this right now:

"VERY STRANGE"

Oh look, it's more CARDBOARD DEAD BOY-related news!

BRUTAL RESONANCE has published the first review for VERSUS SATAN and it's a cracker! Some excerpts:

"Cardboard Dead Boy's Versus Satan is just a very strange experience...

Dark ambience, crazy noisy bits, catchy basslines, blatant sample usage, it all exists within the confines of this album...

...add some good samples of people warning against the dangers of Satan and Satanism? Boy, you got a stellar album opener and it continues through all the way to the end.

I'm pretty much in love with almost the entire album's titles."

It's a really favourable review and I'm particularly pleased with the reference to "catchy basslines" as this is the first CDB release where I've actively wrote actual bass lines - normally, I let the beat and accompanying pulse of electronics serve as the sole rhythm, so adding (sub)bass was something of an experiment for me.

You can read the whole review, and check out the rest of the Brutal Resonance site, HERE.

And, should you feel inclined to line my pockets with a few quid, you can get hold of the album HERE cheaper than elsewhere, or through iTunes or Amazon if you prefer.

CARDBOARD DEAD BOY RULES THE INTERNET

One day! But for now, my insidious plan to cover every square inch of it continues apace as CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN is now available on:

SPOTIFY and iTUNES and GOOGLE PLAY!!!

It's also available from BANDCAMP, with an alternate version (different artwork/tracks) available from HERE.

CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN: RELEASE

The prophecy has been fulfilled! CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN has been conjured forth by the use of eldritch rituals, ready to damage your ears and send your soul to a terrible abyss. 

All artwork by the incomparable Grebo Gray / Little Black Clouds 

WHAT A SUITABLE HALLOWEEN TREAT!

CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN

Here's something for your eyeballs:

Currently polishing off the final track, as well as making any final slight adjustments to the other songs. The whole album is about the Satanic Panic of the 1980s! I've tried to go for a more accessible sound this time, with less noise (though it's still noisy) and more EDM/Berlin Techno-flavoured bits. I've almost always featured a lot of jazz samples in my CDB work and that's streamlined this time into mainly beats, though there's the ghost of my initial 'industrial ambient lounge' description lingering in the back of some tracks.

Speaking of my 'initial description' - I first started CARDBOARD DEAD BOY wwwaaayyyy back in 2001, I think, maybe 2002. I've churned out god knows how many songs/albums/EPs in that time, but a year or so ago I decided to try and re-focus the CDB sound; to actually create a definite sense of progression between albums. 

Part of that progression involves using the artistic talents of other people, so this time I've enlisted the help of a chap by the name of Grebo Gray aka LITTLE BLACK CLOUDS - he's an artist/photographer with a fine eye for the darker things in life, and I strongly urge you to check out his work. He's provided the artwork for various bands, and right now he's working on the cover art for CARDBOARD DEAD BOY VERSUS SATAN. He's also the very first person who reviewed my initial CDB release! So it's nice to have that link, and for it to have lasted all this time. 

And speaking of reviews - I'll be sending copies to anywhere I can find that seems like it might be worth asking for a review, so if you're interested or know anywhere, let me know!

BACK FROM THE DEaD?

I'm really digging THIS MUSIC at the moment - it's like a darker Amon Tobin, which is more than fine by me.

I'm trying to write some new cARDbOaRD DEaD bOY stuff (I used to be quite good, I'll have you know AND HERE'S THE PROOF) but I keep making cool 'bits' but nothing coherent. I need to try and tap back into what made CDB tick all those years ago...here's another review by the same guy for a different place.

*wistful sigh*