THE ONE WHERE I TALK ABOUT CONSTRUCTIVE USE OF TIME AND NINJAS

And decide to abandon the FRIENDS naming convention for future post titles.

So it occurred to me that, out of all the various creative things I do, the one I haven't mentioned on here yet is GAME PROGRAMMING. As in COMPUTER GAMES!

I've been unemployed for bloody ages now, which is extremely disheartening. To try and ease the misery of having stupendously rotten luck, I've been finding things to have a go at. Regular (or even irregular) readers will know that two things bubbling away in the background are monster toys and my latest novel. The toys involve sculpting (something I've been keen on but never given much time or effort to before) and the novel is, well, finished and just waiting on beta reader feedback. The stuff I've had back so far is extremely positive, and everyone thinks the ending is excellent, which I'm super chuffed about.

Now, writing is the secret passion I gave form to the last time I had a stupid amount of time on my hands, and I've done pretty well from it so far (I've also been asked to edit someone else's novel for Belfire Press at the moment). Three weeks ago, I decided to teach myself how to make an actual video game; like plenty of people, I always have/had a ton of ideas, I just decided to finally actually do something about those ideas.

There's no point doing something unless you can utilise a suitable amount of discipline - without it, whatever momentum and focus you might have when you're first excited about a project can soon fade away, either through frustration, boredom or simply choosing to do something else. When I first decided to take writing seriously, I set 7pm - 10pm aside every single night for writing. No TV, films or trips to the pub. Well, maybe the occasional trip to the pub. Some nights I didn't even write anything, but I thought about writing and worked out a lot of plot points etc in my head.

With making a game (I'm using GAME MAKER STUDIO, a free and remarkably versatile piece of software), I decided to methodically learn and work through various ideas, in a bid to create a platform game involving a ninja. After three weeks, I now have I suppose a game that's 40% complete. I've created a robust movement engine for the player character and coded the fundamental parts of enemy behaviour so that, realistically, I do actually have a finished working game. It's just not interesting enough. What's the point of doing something like this if you're not going to challenge yourself? With this mantra swirling through my noodle, I've started to refine and tweak what I've coded so far.

Honestly, I'm rather pleased with myself for making constructive use of my time. I'm also rather pleased with myself for using what I've learnt after following a bunch of tutorials to figure out how to code certain things. For instance, the ninja can now use a sword to chop enemy heads off, complete with a short death animation. This is very much a case of 'now I'm doing it I can appreciate how much work goes into something even as simple as a pixel art ninja platform game'.

I have no idea how long it's going to take me to have a game that fits the idea in my head, but I doubt it'll be a three or five year magnum opus like BRAID or FEZ. I'm making something a bit daft and fun, not reinventing a genre or anything. My next game, however...

So that's it in a nutshell. Once I have something a bit more solid, I'll start to divulge proper plot/game mechanic details. Also, once I'm in a position to start properly promoting it I'll reveal tidbits of art etc on here, like a proper game dev blog haha. What I will say for now is, I'm finding that by refining and/or adding one thing, it tends to muck up something else that worked fine before. Which is frustrating but not unexpected. It's also likely because I'm jerry-rigging a lot of code; I bet if a seasoned coder had a look at my scripts they'd have a stroke.

I will now leave you with a slice of truly excellent wonky electronica. This comes from one of the best albums I've heard in a long, long time. Stick it in your ears!

THE ONE WHERE I TALK ABOUT DEADPOOL

Ahoy-hoy. Surely by now every man and his dog's given DEADPOOL a good old eyeball? Wait, you haven't? What is wrong with you! Are you as crazy in the coconut as our eponymous anti-hero? Or maybe you look like 'two avocados had violent sex' so don't like to go out in public? In any case, there is something seriously wrong with you.

From the frankly brilliant marketing campaign it was apparent everyone involved knew what they were doing. Deadpool the film and Deadpool the character know exactly what they are and run with it until their legs drop off (but then grow back). The trailers and word-of-mouth may have convinced you this is a film by and for 13 year old boys, but I say to you, don't listen to that easy and cheap insult/compliment! True, there're plenty of boobs, guns and swears but it's important to note that there is also an actual story here.

After mercenary Wade Wilson finds out he's riddled with cancer, he decides the most heroic thing to do would be to save his fiancée from all the grief and pain of dealing with it, by leaving her. Cue a trip to an experimental "superhero camp" and a few revelations about the place, and before you know it Wade Wilson's reborn as the fourth-wall breaking anti-hero who just won't shut up.

To say too much more would spoil things, not because there are any particular plot twists but rather, this is a film whose exuberance you're best experiencing for yourself. Everything is delivered with exceptional style and wit, so much so that you might be too busy admiring how nuts a particular fight scene is you miss a few one-liners—I recently watched it for the second time and caught a few jokes and visual gags I missed the first time.

It's true that the copious trailers and excellent marketing have given a fair bit of the film away, and part of me wishes I could go back in time and pay very little attention to these, so if you can avoid them I'd recommend it. Save as many of the jokes as possible for your first viewing. If you're not keen on bum and willy jokes, maybe this film's not for you, but there's undeniably a sense of demented charm in immersing yourself in a world populated by a foul-mouthed and excessively violent anti-hero. There are insults and deaths in this film I guarantee you've never heard or seen before. Probably. I don't know what you've watched, do I? Give me a break.

Are the villains a bit boring? Yes. Do some jokes miss the mark? A few. Does it get as irritating as people tend to find Deadpool himself? Absolutely not. 

I think the best recommendation I could give is that my mum  really enjoyed it. The second-best recommendation I could give is that DEADPOOL is smart at playing dumb. It also has the BEST superhero rap song I've heard in a long time. 

THREE THUMBS UP!

And to end, here's the second-best superhero rap song I've ever heard: